Commercial Commentary

By Daniel McQuade
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 1 | Posted Dec. 10, 2008

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There's a lot to celebrate recently in television-land. Rosie Live was canceled after one episode, nobody watched the Grammy nomination special and each day Secret Millionaire is one day closer to ending.

Don't think that's made television bearable, though. Things can get bad at any time.

Take Thanksgiving. The Eagles were beginning another futile late-season run and Harry Kalas was doing ... commercials?

The Phillies play-by-play man always does a nice job,' I thought, and then I heard it: Harry the K, reading horrible ad copy ... "When the mountains turn blue, your beer is as cold as the Rockies."

When Joe Buck tells us how great Bud Light is because of its drinkability, we can shrug it off. He always says nonsensical things. Kalas does too, but even Chris Wheeler doesn't reach the level of stupidity the Coors Light slogan does.

Thanksgiving was just an extension of a dreary year for the television addict. The writers' strike took out a large chunk of the early part of the year; The Wire ended and True Blood began; the Olympics took over for a solid month; and the commercials have been agonizing.

A Duracell battery ad is particularly infuriating, showing a mother who learns via her kid's own LoJack (powered by Duracell batteries!) that he's still safely at the playground.

Message: Buy Duracell batteries, or a pervert will kidnap your child.

Coors has been using its nonsensical slogan--and its "cold-activated bottle"--for a while now. I'm blaming you, the public, for this mess. Somewhere a beer with a color-changing label and a group of words with absolutely no meaning are inspiring purchase decisions, and it's probably your fault. Shape up, people.

In the meantime, I'll be cleaning up around my television with Oust. Did you know it kills the germs Lysol doesn't? Or maybe it's the other way around?

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1. Steve Craft said... on Dec 13, 2008 at 06:46AM

“Wait, are you saying that there are other commercials on TV? Where do you live? On my TV there is only one advertiser GEICO. I did the philly marathon this year. EEICO was at the expo where you pick up your bib and chip. I am beginning to think that maybe GEICO advertises too much. What do you think?”

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