Tough decisions for a better life

Book Review: 'Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward'

By Inman News Feed
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted May. 9, 2011

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"Necessary Endings" is masterful. Cloud has compiled inspiration and action steps in one nuanced guide to making some of the hardest decisions, conversations and life changes we humans must make in order to thrive.

The first few chapters lay the foundation for readers to understand that ending things -- relationships, business arrangements, etc. -- is, well, necessary and a process we should welcome, as well as providing deeply useful, powerful insights for deciding "what's worth fixing and what should end" in a wide variety of realistic life scenarios.

Cloud moves on to help readers feel urgently "motivated and energized for change," detect and overcome internal and external resistance to necessary endings, and provide surprisingly clear action strategies for executing, processing, grieving and recovering from the endings we need to make.

For example: stopping behavior patterns and investments, ending businesses and relationships, or even halting relationship dynamics that simply don't work or are injurious to your well-being.

I have long recommended Charlotte Kasl's "If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path" (Penguin, 2005) for people of any spiritual background who feel stymied and stuck. I will now make a two-part recommendation: that they read "Stuck" and "Necessary Endings."

My only disagreement with Cloud is with his conclusion that making "necessary endings" is all about creating a thriving future for your life. I agree that they are critical to your future, but I also believe that these really tough decisions are critical to your experience of life right at this moment.

As with a mortgage that keeps you up night after night for years on end, that has you go further into credit card debt to keep it going -- the relationships and patterns that are not working in your life often deprive you of the ability to enjoy your life right this moment by creating stress about an unsustainable future.

They destroy our ability to fulfill our life's primary purpose, which Kasl profoundly declares is: to live. Winding down, ending and letting go of what's not working allows you to live now, without being in perpetual insecurity about life basics, about your ability to survive moving forward. And that robs you of your today, as well as your tomorrow.

"Necessary Endings" is a truly necessary resource for creating a thriving future -- and a thriving present -- by empowering you to skillfully decide what needs to end, and how to execute that decision and move forward with your life.

Tara-Nicholle Nelson is author of "The Savvy Woman's Homebuying Handbook" and "Trillion Dollar Women: Use Your Power to Make Buying and Remodeling Decisions." Tara is also the Consumer Ambassador and Educator for real estate listings search site Trulia.com. Ask her a real estate question online or visit her website, www.rethinkrealestate.com.

                                                   
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