Narcotic Delusions

Nine years and counting

By Liz Spikol
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 2 | Posted Feb. 11, 2009

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At the end of the meeting a lovely gentleman asked if I'd be at the next gathering. "Yes, yes!" I chirped. "Maybe I will!"

But I won't. I don't want a keychain. I don't want to hear it's all been God's plan. I want someone to say, "Yeah, it blows. I had the little pills too, and they nearly wrecked me, but damn. They were tasty." I want to talk about my drug island instead of St. John. We won't relapse if we admit that sometimes recovery sucks, will we?

I came home from my meeting and tucked the card back into the NA book. I wondered what my grandmother would say if she were still alive. Probably something about watching Jeopardy. That was her addiction, and if I believe in anything resembling religion at all, it's that she's on some island, watching Alex Trebeck 24 hours a day--with no repercussions.

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1. Sara Wittman said... on Apr 5, 2009 at 06:05PM

“Wow I'm srory that was your experience with NA. I am a member and I feel like my homegroup wants to hear exactly where you are at that moment, meetings shouldn't focus on a specific drug, and in my group they don't. I had to stick around long eough to hear a complete message. There are days when I go to a meeting and everyone is smiling and joking but my life sucks that day, and when thatswhere I'm at thatswhat I share. People do want to hear from you, there is nothing tabboo bout who you are, and if you don't beleive in God thats ok...think of the word God as a accronym for Good Orderlly Direction.....whatever works for you. I'm not trying to sell you NA. You have already proven to yourself you can stay clean without it. I just want to express my concern. Media is powerful and NA is a serious deal which has saved thousand of lives...your experience is only one and by sharing half truths about the fellowship as a whole you may just have kept a addict who desperately needed us from coming in the rooms. I'm sorry it didn't work for you but am happy you are clean. I know this is a opinion artical, I just wish you would consider how your opinion affects so many. I think NA probly respected you as a person, show us the same respect please.”

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2. I'm NOT Sorry Because said... on Sep 13, 2009 at 02:23AM

“I'm an atheist too and those meetings scream of "give up and give in" and "Let's make a phone chain" and torture other people when we are just dreaming of the pretty blue pills. I gotta tell ya that ain't working for me. Isn't that what we are fighting to Not do. We're fighting to remain intelligent non-conformists and not in the sense that we have to be rebels, just not sniveling bible cuddlers. It'd be easier if we could "work it" but Heck No. It's got to be the hard but smart and logical and un-sheeplike. way for me and I think probably you too. Hugs to you. I always respect your work and look forward to it.

Lives in Arizona”

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