Forgetting Sarah Palin.
Frankly, I was ready to move on. With all the ballots cast, I would've been perfectly happy to go back to crusading against the serial comma. But as big as this election was for America, our social progress was almost eclipsed by the country's grammatical confusion.
Did you witness the election night slapstick, how anchors and pundits corrected one another over whether it was "a historic night" or "an historic night"? Stewart and Colbert actually got in a tiff about it. The problem was the TV personalities couldn't figure out if they were speaking or reading.
If you're speaking, "an historic" is acceptable, but you can't say the H: It's gotta be "an 'istoric." If you do pronounce the H, or if you're writing it down, go with "a." You wouldn't say, for example, "Someone should give Sarah Palin an hysterectomy before she spreads her devil spawn any further." You'd say "a hysterectomy." Same with "a historic."
In another shocker, the good governor herself wasn't immune to linguistic foibles leading up to the big day. Just before votes were cast Sarah Palin told Fox News' Sean Hannity she was "very excited and anxious for the 4th."
I suspect Hannity was too busy drooling to notice, but the word she probably meant was "eager," not "anxious." Unless she was trying to tell Fox News viewers she had anxiety about losing--which she didn't--she made the all too common mistake of confusing "anxious" and "eager." It's an important distinction: She was eager for Election Day; she's anxious about the impending hysterectomy she doesn't yet know we've scheduled for her.
But perhaps the most prized spoil of the election is the richest word to enter the lexicon in a long time. Like all the best neologisms, it's descriptive, it's self-explanatory and it just makes you feel so good: "Palinfreude."
Even more than reports that she didn't know Africa was a continent, it may be the best thing Sarah Palin gave us in her short, inglorious political life ... other than President-elect Obama, of course.
If only she knew what it meant, she could enjoy it too. Seems like it'd be right up the vindictive bitch's alley.