Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Jan. 26, 2005

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There are ways to indulge his castration fetish without destroying his balls. Buy him a male chastity device (just Google "CB-3000") and throw away the key. If that's not extreme enough for him, chemically castrate him by injecting him with Depo-Provera, a drug that sexual predators are sometimes ordered to take and one he could, I presume, prescribe to himself. Maybe after experiencing a short-term, reversible castration, your boyfriend will conclude that castration is better fantasy than reality.

Have you ever heard of "decanting"? I work at a hospital in New Orleans. A man came in with multiple urinary infections, and stated that at certain parties he was a "decanter." He put a catheter in his bladder, drained his urine, replaced it with wine and then "served" it to guests. I'm calling for a consult.

MD in NO

In a world where some men want their balls popped, MDINO, anything's possible.

Have you ever put your fingers in someone's mouth while they're asleep? I have. I like to play with the faces of my lovers as they sleep. And invariably, Dan, they have a strong involuntary bite reaction. It's painful as hell, and I don't know why I keep testing this. But needless to say, this information should be passed on to This Boy Wonders, the young man who was fantasizing about initiating oral sex with his sleeping wife.

Lucky to Have All Ten

I advised TBW to "obtain [his wife's] consent to either initiate oral sex sometime when she's asleep or sometime when she's pretending to be asleep." In light of your research, LTHAT, I'm going to, er, withdraw the "sometimes while she's asleep" part of that response.

Why don't you talk about your family in your column? I want to know if you're still with Terry, how your son is doing, how old he is now, etc.

Girly Fan

Female domination, ball popping, decanting, dicks bitten off in the middle of night: I don't write about my family in Savage Love, GF, because there's no way to make a graceful segue from the usual horror stories to heartwarming anecdotes about my 6-year-old kid. But you can rest assured that Terry and I are still together, and that DJ remains, as of this writing, blissfully unaware of foot fetishists, ball poppers, decanters and dick-biters. or Dan Savage, c/o The Stranger, 1535 11th Ave. Third Floor, Seattle, WA 98122

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