Philadelphia Weekly

NEWS AND OPINION

Savage Love

By Dan Savage

Add Comment | Comments: 1 | Posted Sep. 5, 2012

I’m a gay man who gained 30 pounds after I met my current boyfriend. I started dieting about a week before you ran a letter from a woman who was wondering about withholding sex until her husband lost some weight. I told my boyfriend not to have sex with me until I lost 15 pounds. It took me three and a half weeks to lose the weight, but it really strengthened our relationship. He was supportive of my weight-loss goals, he had an incentive to help me make healthier choices and it brought an erotic tension to the process that we both dug. My only suggestion for the woman who wrote you: Don’t tell people about it! The people we told were angry at my boyfriend for “withholding” sex unless I lost weight. But, hey, it worked!

Lighter In Loafers

As I said in my response to Like Boys Slimmer, if a couple can make the withholding of sex into an erotic game that they’re both playing and both enjoying—and not an asshole move one partner is pulling—I could maybe see this sort of arrangement working. And I’m pleased to hear that at least one couple out there was able to successfully eroticize a diet by combining it with chastity play.

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