I’m a married straight man. My wife and I have been married for five years. I thought my wife was GGG and open to new things, so six months ago I brought up my desire to wear lingerie—she did not react well. We struggled a bit but gradually got back to normal. My birthday is in May, so I proposed a weekend of indulgence of my fetish as a birthday present. I thought that would be easy enough to accommodate. I was wrong and got totally and uncomfortably denied. I’m at a loss for what to do. I don’t want to destroy a marriage over a small sexual interest, but I don’t want to be locked into vanilla sex forever. Any advice on getting her to come around? —Partner Against Nighties That Intrigue Eager Spouse
Someone can be “open to new things” without being “open to everything.” So your wife might be up for exploring other sexual kinks, positions and circumstances—hubby-in-lingerie isn’t the only form of non-vanilla sex out there—but seeing you in panties could be a “libido killer,” a term coined by Emily “Dear Prudence” Yoffe. If that’s the case, PANTIES, she may never come around. But if it’s not a libido killer, if it’s just something she hasn’t had time to wrap her head around, your best course of action is to drop the subject for now. Let the wife see that your interest isn’t all-consuming and you still enjoy vanilla sex in gender-conforming underpants, and indulging this particular kink may come to seem less threatening.
Where can straight women find men who won’t make odd sexual requests? —Dumped One Again