Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 1 | Posted Oct. 9, 2012

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Finally, there’s a chance that your friend’s son isn’t kinky and was just looking for the most appalling shit he could find on the internet. Mom should acknowledge that as a possibility, and her son, even if he is kinky, is likely to seize on that excuse. If he does claim that he was just looking for shocking video clips, she should say: “I believe you. But there’s a small chance that you’re saying that because you think it’s what I want to hear. So I’m going to say everything I wanted to say about safety, misogyny and consent just in case. And all of it applies to vanilla sex, too.”

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1. Anonymous said... on Oct 12, 2012 at 12:25PM

“The advice to LIFE is appallingly wrong. What if Dan's guessed wrong and in addition to being a "sweet, loving guy" he also has enough moral fiber to actually offer to either marry her or support the kid? Great, now she's just lied to him about being pregnant--that's an automatic break-up in anyone's book.
The second letter--wrong again. A opposite-sex parent forcing a talk with a teenager about kinky sex--worse about the teenager's particular kinks--is just cruel. Isn't there a male figure in the kid's life his mom could enlist for facts-of-life duty? If not a father, then an uncle, trusted friend, anyone? If there isn't, it's about time she helped him find one.”

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