Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Sep. 12, 2012

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During an extremely long (four-year) dry spell of my own, AMU, I responded more than once to offline offers of blowjobs from girls. I was horny, I was desperate, and my powers of concentration were such that I could close my eyes and pretend—and I’m really dating myself here—that Bo Duke was blowing me.

Desperate men do desperate things, AMU, and just as my teenage/closeted desperation drove me into the arms, beds and mouths of some nice young women, similarly desperate straight guys have been known to accept blowjobs from gay or bi dudes. And just as the concentrate-on-Bo-Duke blowjobs I got from girls back in the ’80s didn’t make me straight, the concentrate-on-Sofia-Vergara blowjobs straight guys get from dudes today don’t make them gay.

It’s possible, of course, that your husband will wind up getting rest-stop blowjobs one day—anything is possible —but that one time he almost got a blowjob from another dude doesn’t make rest-stop blowjobs any more or less likely. (I’m assuming your husband is telling the truth about not going through with it.) And as your being turned on by the thought of the husband getting a blowjob from another man doesn’t make those rest-stop blowjobs any likelier either, AMU, I think you should go ahead and let yourself be turned on by the idea.

After 20 years of boring vanilla-ness with my ex-husband, I’m tickled pink to be with a GGG guy who’s into some fun stuff and encourages me to explore. The problem: One of his kinks is a smoking fetish, and I don’t smoke cigarettes. Inhaling is a big part of the excitement for him, but I cough if I inhale, which ruins the mood. Any advice for ways to be GGG with this kink?

Cigarette Inhaling GGGirl

There are limits to being GGG—self-harm being one of them. Give him permission to explore this particular fetish with someone stupid enough to smoke. If he pouts, CIGGG, remind him who inhales his dick.

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