Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 1 | Posted May. 8, 2013

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If I use protection with these dudes, and I’m getting tested every three months, do I owe these onetime players the truth about what I do for a living?

Sexworker Troubled Intellectually


People who enjoy hooking up with strangers—people who have casual one-night stands with people they don’t know and may not see again—should go into those hookups knowing these two things:

1. The person they’re hooking up with has probably done this before. As that’s the case, having sex in this context—i.e., in the context of a sleazy and fun hookup—carries a higher degree of STI risk than having sex in the context of, say, a committed relationship. Because duh.

2. They need to take all reasonable precautions while bearing in mind that condoms do not provide 100 percent protection.

So, STI, as long as you’re using protection/condoms, you’re doing right by your one-night stands. Your dudes are entitled to consideration and a reasonable concern for their well-being, and it sounds like they’re getting both. They are not entitled to your complete sexual history or your work resume. If someone isn’t comfortable with the risks inherent in casual sex—if someone wouldn’t want to sleep with a sex worker, say, or an editor at Breitbart—that person needs to inquire as to whether the person they’ve just picked up is a sex worker or an idiot. The onus is on them.


This week on the Savage Lovecast: Drag queens in Alabama, accidental anal skewering and unwelcome drunk bachelorettes at

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1. Mick Turrait said... on May 8, 2013 at 11:54AM

“for God's sake, be quiet.”


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