Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Apr. 24, 2013

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I’m a 19-year-old newbie lesbian Dom starting a relationship with a smart, sexy, wildly kinky 22-year-old. We share a lot of fetishes, and our relationship so far could not be better. One issue: She’s very, very into latex clothes. I have a severe allergy, to the point where I would probably need to be hospitalized if she wore latex clothing. I want to work around this; she’s been GGG about anal, which was something I wanted to explore. She did that for me, and I want to do this for her. Is there a good alternative to latex?

Thanks In Advance


There’s no working around an allergy so severe it can land you in the hospital—and with everything else you two have going for you, TIA, forgoing latex is the price of admission your new girlfriend should be willing to pay.


No question here, just a thank-you. Last week, my 16-year-old son told me that he has a crush on his best friend ... who just so happens to be a 16-year-old boy. Without your column, I don’t think I would’ve been prepared for his “revelation.” You and your readers taught me the importance of letting him know that I will always accept him, love him and support him in any decision he makes. The best part: He wasn’t really worried about telling me he’s gay; he was worried that I wouldn’t let his crush spend the night anymore. (And he was right to worry!)

Proud Mom


After reading that you intend to “support [your son] in any decision he makes,” I started to compose a mildly scolding response in my head. (“Why would you do that? Gay kids, like straight kids, need their parents to be their parents. Your son needs you to meddle lovingly, to criticize constructively, and to help him pull his big gay head out of his big gay ass when it needs pulling. And it will, PM, because gay kids make bad decisions, too.”) But you made it clear at the end of your letter—he was right to worry about those sleepovers being over—that you aren’t confusing “support my gay son” with “sign off on any damn thing my gay son wants.” Well done, PM!


I am an 18-year-old British queer girl who was recently involved with an older woman while visiting the U.S. She told me about your “campsite rule,” and she followed it to the letter and was wonderful. I’ve since moved back to London and told everyone I know about your column. As a result, there’s a small group of teens running around North London who adore you. I hope we can spread your excellent advice and make as many people as possible into GGG partners.



Thanks for the lovely note, CC, and tell the older woman I said thanks—for honoring the campsite rule and for helping to build my readership in the U.K. by turning you on to my column. 

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