Savage Love

By Dan Savage
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 5 | Posted Jul. 24, 2012

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Go ahead and reach out. Let him know that you were thinking about taking things to the next level (though, ugh to that phrase) before he told you about the other girl. You were starting to fall for him, you hoped he felt the same and you were disappointed. But since he was only doing what you asked—keeping it casual—you can’t fault him for keeping his options open, looking around, dating other girls, etc. And you can’t fault him for failing to read your mind.

Close by telling him that you’d be open to dating—a real, noncasual relationship—if things don’t work out with this other girl.

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1. saint J said... on Jul 25, 2012 at 11:18AM

“This is for the "Tired of Pills" writter. I can relate to the lady that wrote that cause my girlfriend of three years had tried the birth control pills and they did the same to her crazy emotional with and unbalanced period. After reading what your going through, your husband needs to suck it up and wear a condom. Condoms come wide in array of types and lubes so it may take a few trys to get some that feel good, don't smell like heavy latex, but when you do it will put both of you at ease. I find that condoms that have ribbdd or studded textures feel good and my girlfriend has also told me those types also feel great to her.

Just something to try hope it helps”

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2. von wallenstein said... on Jul 25, 2012 at 12:30PM

“condoms suck. Tired of Pills should go on a non-hormonal IUD. i'm not surprised your husband is pissed. you both agreed when you started having sex that it would be sans-condom; now you want to change the deal, like you sold him a bag of goods.

you sound like a real peach to be around”

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3. minkinpink said... on Jul 25, 2012 at 01:25PM

“For Miss LWAM, if it is any consulation...there are more out there like you...(aka me.) Glad to have read about our shared fantasies with boys in heels....there is no doubt that there are guys out there that will not only do it, but who will also enjoy it (or at least get off in seeing how damn excited we get). Good luck!”

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4. Sunny said... on Jul 25, 2012 at 03:43PM

“Tired of Pills, von wallenstein is correct, you can try a non hormonal IUD. A marriage without sex leads to infidelity. Considering you are lacking a sex drive because of the bleeding, bloat, and weight gain; this situation has the potential to spiral out of control really quickly. Talk to your GYN about the non-hormonal IUD.”

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5. Jen said... on Jul 26, 2012 at 02:44PM

“Hormonal IUDs still might be okay, as the hormones are not as strong as they are with the pill and they pretty much just work locally. I've talked to many women who had the problems you described with the pill but have had no such problems with a hormonal IUD.

And don't listen to that douchebag von wallenstein. If IUDs turn out not to be an option for you, your husband needs to man up and wear condoms. He may hate wearing them during sex, but you have to suffer ALL THE TIME while on the pill. He is being inconsiderate and selfish and completely disregarding your feelings. His penile sensitivity during sex is NOT more important than your general well-being. Grow up, husband.”

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