Pukemon's Uncle: He Choked On a Hotdog, People!

By Randy LoBasso
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 9 | Posted Apr. 20, 2010

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Before writing this blog, we spent a few moments rubbing our fingers together, simulating what you may call the world’s tiniest violin.

Turns out, Pukemon (love it) can’t leave his house without being harassed, says his uncle, David Clemmens. And not only that, but the whole incident at Citizen’s Bank – it wasn’t even his fault! It was the hotdog.

David Clemmens dialed up the Allentown Morning Call and swore that his nephew is innocent. He gave the same sob story to NBC 10: "He's a good kid, and I think he just had a couple extra beers that might have got him a little sick…He accidentally vomited. He put his hand in front of his mouth and vomited on the person in front of him, the wrong person."

Then, according to the boy’s uncle, after politely holding his hand over his mouth to keep himself from vomiting on an 11-year-old girl (and failing miserably), “He was held down and he was beat up.”

Matt Clemmens is charged with simple assault, stalking, recklessly endangering another person, corruption of minors, harassment and disorderly conduct.

The “Phillies fans against Matthew Clemmens” Facebook page, which is basically a web-based center of hatred toward this guy (as is every message board after each article written of him) has 1,195 fans as of this writing. Another blog for another day may want to look in depth into the fact that with the Internet and all its glory, you literally can’t do anything anymore without being hated by people the world over (this is of course an extreme example), and know exactly who hates you, why, what they’ll do if they ever see you and what their favorite quotes/movies are.

A treasury of comments from the “Phillies fans against Matthew Clemmens” page:

“Phucking Loser Get The Phuck Out My City”

“It's not just Philly Phans either! You're hated all over. This one coming from Maine. What and idiot. Everyone knows you don't mess around with Philly fans. I had the pleasure of being stationed at PNSY 89-91, and saw many athletic events there. Keep beating down the losers. He deserved more of an ‘old fashioned philly beatdown’”

“This scumbag should do hard jail time. I commend Mr. Vangelo's restraint, because if this clown pulled this crap with my kids, he'd be happy to have the cops get him. The last thing Philly needs is another black eye”

“next time i do something wrong, ill say ‘Hey, atleast I didnt throw up on a little girl like Matt Clemmens.’”

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Comments 1 - 9 of 9
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1. G gal said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 08:53AM

“Ok, I'm trying very hard to remain unbiassed but it's almost impossible! His uncle is sticking up for him saying "it was a hotdog" and all but how do you explain him hitting the girl's father and making his ear bleed? Just a question.”

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2. no little red crooks allowed said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 10:21AM

“con and rat crooks tried to rape my mom in 2004 at a buffet..... there is an extensive dragnet hunting for them.. ps.... nazis love you people”

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3. sue said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 10:25AM

“Sounds like Unc is just as obnoxious as nephew.”

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4. Anonymous said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 11:02AM

“Why is the Uncle even commenting? Where is the mom and dad to defend their disgusting son? The more the Uncle speaks the dumber HE sounds. What a family.”

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5. Anonymous said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 02:01PM

“did they scoop up the vomit and use it as evidence and was there part of a hot dog in the vomit? well, now it's up to the vomit to make the next "move".”

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6. Anonymous said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 09:14PM

“matt scooped up the tossed up hot dog and ate it again.”

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7. Joe B said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 09:16PM

“Only question I have is how did he come away with only one black eye?”

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8. Anonymous said... on Apr 20, 2010 at 09:55PM

“Sorry Uncle Excuses, public drunkeness does not quite describe a "good kid". He is a monster, and lucky he wasn't beat to a bloody pulp! If it were my kid, he would have been!

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9. Valerie said... on Apr 21, 2010 at 03:04AM

“I was choking on a hotdog. So I tried to beat up the guy in front of me! Seemed like the perfectly logical thing to do at the time...”


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