Saffron Rips Lemonade Stand New Asshole

In her Friday column, Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron ripped a Queen Village lemonade stand a new asshole—calling it “shamefully thoughtless” and “structurally abysmal.” “Not only does [the stand] block six square feet of sidewalk, creating a daunting pedestrian bottleneck, it is terribly out-of-balance with the block’s historic, well-kept rowhouses,” she wrote of the stand, set up by April Hutchinson, 7, of the 300 block of Fitzwater St. “Even worse, it seems to have been made from an overturned cardboard box—reflecting a wider local trend towards distressingly substandard materials.”

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Posted Jun. 1, 2009 | Comments: 1

Smerconish’s Ass Gets Own Show

Representatives of 1210-AM “The Big Talker” were yesterday thrilled to introduce the newest member of their right-leaning lineup: the buttocks of Michael Smerconish, whose recent star turn in Philadelphia magazine has rocketed the ass to widespread local prominence. “By adding these buttocks to a team that already includes Rush Limbaugh, Dom Giordano, and the rest of Mr. Smerconish himself, we’re offering listeners a wide range of conservative opinion,” said station manager Tom Yates, introducing the naked, pockmarked rump at a midday news conference

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Posted May. 26, 2009 | Comments: 0

Face Transplant Recipient Unveiled in Rittenhouse Square

“Unlike [Cleveland patient] Connie Culp, Vanessa Van Dusen’s treatments were the result of restlessness and low self-esteem, not a shotgun blast to the face,” said University of Pennsylvania bioethicist James Hatty.

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Posted May. 18, 2009 | Comments: 2

Specter Changes Parties, Sex

Two weeks after his surprise defection to the Democratic party, Sen. Arlen Specter yesterday made an even more shocking announcement: that, following a secret weekend procedure, he had become a woman.

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Posted May. 11, 2009 | Comments: 1

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In ‘exile’ after sentencing, marijuana activist Goldstein continues fight
By Randy LoBasso

Politicians are endorsing it. President Obama says it’s not so dangerous. If a Democrat wins the Pennsylvania’s governor’s race this November, it’ll be decriminalized. But for the time being, in Philadelphia, its advocates and users are still getting arrested, and receiving, in one case, two years probation and harsh fines. Chris Goldstein, a member of Philly’s [...]

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KKK affiliate starts neighborhood watch–what could possibly go wrong?
By Josh Kruger

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, 41 hate groups actively operate in Pennsylvania. In York County, an affiliate of the KKK and longtime nemesis of the SPLC has decided to “give back” to its community: by starting a neighborhood watch group. “A local chapter of the Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan launched a [...]