Saffron Rips Lemonade Stand New Asshole

In her Friday column, Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron ripped a Queen Village lemonade stand a new asshole—calling it “shamefully thoughtless” and “structurally abysmal.” “Not only does [the stand] block six square feet of sidewalk, creating a daunting pedestrian bottleneck, it is terribly out-of-balance with the block’s historic, well-kept rowhouses,” she wrote of the stand, set up by April Hutchinson, 7, of the 300 block of Fitzwater St. “Even worse, it seems to have been made from an overturned cardboard box—reflecting a wider local trend towards distressingly substandard materials.”

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Posted Jun. 1, 2009 | Comments: 1

Smerconish’s Ass Gets Own Show

Representatives of 1210-AM “The Big Talker” were yesterday thrilled to introduce the newest member of their right-leaning lineup: the buttocks of Michael Smerconish, whose recent star turn in Philadelphia magazine has rocketed the ass to widespread local prominence. “By adding these buttocks to a team that already includes Rush Limbaugh, Dom Giordano, and the rest of Mr. Smerconish himself, we’re offering listeners a wide range of conservative opinion,” said station manager Tom Yates, introducing the naked, pockmarked rump at a midday news conference

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Posted May. 26, 2009 | Comments: 0

Face Transplant Recipient Unveiled in Rittenhouse Square

“Unlike [Cleveland patient] Connie Culp, Vanessa Van Dusen’s treatments were the result of restlessness and low self-esteem, not a shotgun blast to the face,” said University of Pennsylvania bioethicist James Hatty.

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Posted May. 18, 2009 | Comments: 2

Specter Changes Parties, Sex

Two weeks after his surprise defection to the Democratic party, Sen. Arlen Specter yesterday made an even more shocking announcement: that, following a secret weekend procedure, he had become a woman.

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Posted May. 11, 2009 | Comments: 1

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PhillyNow

Pa-Gov: Here’s one ad we love—and one we hate
By Josh Kruger

Right now, we’re all being bombarded by negative ads in the run up to next Tuesday’s primary.  Everybody hates this shit.  Specifically, two ads have gotten our attention lately:  One from the governor’s race and another from PA-13, which we’re referring to as “GIRL PLEASE” AND “AWESOME SAUCE TASTES LIKE…” First up, Tom Corbett’s take on Democrat Tom Wolf’s [...]

PhillyNow

“Tips for Jesus” hits Philly; man leaves $7,000
By Josh Kruger

There’s a mysterious, awesome movement afoot right now in America: It was (probably) begun by a corporate executive, and it’s hit more than a dozen cities across the country. The mission: make the world a better place one ridiculously large tip at a time. Usually to often overworked, underpaid waitstaff and bartenders. And it seems that [...]