Saffron Rips Lemonade Stand New Asshole

In her Friday column, Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron ripped a Queen Village lemonade stand a new asshole—calling it “shamefully thoughtless” and “structurally abysmal.” “Not only does [the stand] block six square feet of sidewalk, creating a daunting pedestrian bottleneck, it is terribly out-of-balance with the block’s historic, well-kept rowhouses,” she wrote of the stand, set up by April Hutchinson, 7, of the 300 block of Fitzwater St. “Even worse, it seems to have been made from an overturned cardboard box—reflecting a wider local trend towards distressingly substandard materials.”

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Posted Jun. 1, 2009 | Comments: 1

Smerconish’s Ass Gets Own Show

Representatives of 1210-AM “The Big Talker” were yesterday thrilled to introduce the newest member of their right-leaning lineup: the buttocks of Michael Smerconish, whose recent star turn in Philadelphia magazine has rocketed the ass to widespread local prominence. “By adding these buttocks to a team that already includes Rush Limbaugh, Dom Giordano, and the rest of Mr. Smerconish himself, we’re offering listeners a wide range of conservative opinion,” said station manager Tom Yates, introducing the naked, pockmarked rump at a midday news conference

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Posted May. 26, 2009 | Comments: 0

Face Transplant Recipient Unveiled in Rittenhouse Square

“Unlike [Cleveland patient] Connie Culp, Vanessa Van Dusen’s treatments were the result of restlessness and low self-esteem, not a shotgun blast to the face,” said University of Pennsylvania bioethicist James Hatty.

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Posted May. 18, 2009 | Comments: 2

Specter Changes Parties, Sex

Two weeks after his surprise defection to the Democratic party, Sen. Arlen Specter yesterday made an even more shocking announcement: that, following a secret weekend procedure, he had become a woman.

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Posted May. 11, 2009 | Comments: 1

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Group ‘banned’ from voting to highlight unfair electoral practices
By Randy LoBasso

Pennsylvanians of two stripes — Republicans and Democrats — will come out to vote on May 20th for the leaders and representatives of their parties. But for the last 14 years, local organization Independent Pennsylvanians has been lobbying to change that, without success. “I am one of over a million voters in PA who will help [...]

PhillyNow

Upper Darby Police to hold “Coffee with a Cop”
By Josh Kruger

Typically, citizens encounter law enforcement under tragic or frightening circumstances. Upper Darby Police Chief Michael Chitwood would like to change that. Chitwood and about half a dozen of his fellow cops from Upper Darby will be talking with local residents just beyond 69th Street to start a new conversation: one to help foster communication and, above [...]