Putting Away Childish Things
If you're lucky, they'll turn your life into a movie!
Elvis has re-entered the building--and boy he looks good. The rest of the world looks on approvingly. They like this new, nice, sane America. In fact they love it. They love it so much it almost makes them want to be American.
And what a speech. Okay, so it was a crap speech. Even the bits where Obama bitchslapped the previous administration were kinda boring. In fact even as I type this some liberal linguist on NPR is burbling mellifluously about how it was a "virtue that Obama didn't swing for the proverbial bleachers."
He's absolutely right. There were millions of decent sane, moral, righteous Americans crammed into Washington DC--probably the greatest gathering of nice Americans in history. Americans who for decades have been fed the lie by the conservative mainstream media that they are isolated islands of decency in an ocean of indecent, insane, greedy, selfish, immoral, racist and right-wing quasi-fascist bastards.
Imagine what it must have felt like to have that illusion irrevocably shattered. Imagine standing shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands upon thousands of other humane, sensible, enlightened Americans. Imagine how empowering and uplifting that must have felt.
And now think of the power that Obama had in his hands at the moment he started his speech. He had an audience of millions itching to tear off their boots and shoes and hurl them at Bush and Cheney. Obama could have turned to the smug, isolated, arrogant, unrepentant assholes sat just a few feet behind him, and he could have listed their crimes--giving voice to the righteous rage felt by millions across the planet.
He didn't. He kept it low key and boring, desperate to discourage decent America from venting its righteous loathing on the twin exemplars of irredeemable evil that sat on the podium in front of them.
But there was one line that really grabbed the attention.
"We remain a young nation," said the new president--apparently unaware that the USA is older than half the countries in Europe, including Germany (1871) and Italy (1861)--"but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things."
This is of course taken from First Corinthians 13:11:
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."What was Obama trying to say here? As an honest, decent, hard working American taxpayer I am more than willing to see the U.S. give up all manner of very bad things: war, torture, imperialism, cronyism, corruption, spying on journalists, internment without trial and deregulation. Just for starters.
But none of these things strike me as being particularly childish. And then it hit me--it hit me like a diamond between the eyes. Obama wasn't talking to America. Obama was talking to me. He was telling me and me alone to give up all my childish stuff. Like comics and SpongeBob SquarePants and pop music and toy tanks, and films with car chases and gun fights and no plot. And licorice allsorts.
And jokes about dogs.
So this bloke walks into the vets and he says:" Doctor, I think my dog's got a bit of a cold.Is that what you want, President Obama--an America purged of jokes about dogs? It is? In which case all I can say, Mr. President, is that--with all due respect--you can fuck right off. The only way you get my Marvel Zombies comic is when you prise it out of my cold dead hand.And the vet picks up the dog and says: "I'm afraid I'll have to put him down."
And they guy says: "What? Because he's got a cold?"
And the vet says: "No, because he's too heavy."
But then I thought--hang on. Am I being totally reasonable here? Is there anything in Obama's background or known ideology that gives us any reason at all to think that he's seriously got it in for dog jokes? Or zombie comics? Or licorice allsorts?
There isn't. So he must be talking about conspiracy theories. In which case--huzzah, Mr. President, huzzah.
There are essentially two ways of looking at the world. The first is to apply Occam's Razor. This is where one looks at any given situation and asks--what is the simplest explanation?
Take global warming for instance. Does the overwhelming majority of the world scientific community believe that human activity is having some impact on climate change because:
A) That's how they interpret the evidence?Or take 9-11. Were the attacks:B) They're part of some massive satanic-atheist-pagan-communist conspiracy determined to undermine religious values and thus pave the way for a U.N take-over of America?
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1. worried citizen said... on Feb 10, 2009 at 04:55PM
“You say these theories are of a childish domain, but if you compare the happenings of Nazi Germany before the Third Reich regiem came into total power, there was a great amount of consipiracy going on throughout the German goevernment, which as we all know was headed by Hitler. Looking at this historical and momentous time, and then comparing the actions of G.W.B. and his cabinet, the "Enabling Act", and the "USA PATRIOT Act", the "terrorist attacks" germany suffered, weve come to learn was headed and under instruction by high powered people in the regiem, and now our 9-11 terrorist attacks, not to say that it wasnt a terrorist group, but as defined by G.W.B. himself, terrorists are using the "tools of hate and fear" to hurt us as Americans. From my perspective, and the perspective of many, it is quite possible given the various attemps by Bush and other members of the government to mask or hide certain aspects of the 9-11 attacks such as WTC Building 7, the alleged Flight 93 crash in Shankesville, PA and the 16 ft crater in the Pentagon that no one has answered for, that was also allegedly a plane? Now I'm no expert and i have nothing more than a mere high school education, but as an American, and knowing that throuout history, governments, kingdoms, and other groups of legislature throughout time, have altered things, hidden things, and made things up for their people to believe to make their actions seem like they were the ideas of the people themselves, take our current econmic stimulous, and look at the "Depression". Theres already been news reports, only blurbs of course, of the coming of the New World Order, the Illuminati is a secret Org that everyones heard of but few actually believe. Personally, I believe a lot of the things going on in our country today can be explained by looking into these groups, only because the origins of the illuminati were designed to infiltrate and control high powered positions in the 18th century, why wouldnt it be possible that these societies couldnt exist today and our own public officials could be a part of them? We all know that no one is perfect, and in my mind, any one with even a little "control freak" in them could think over the ways youd control a populous, even a small group, just tell them certain things, leave others out, bounce round topics in such a way it seems to the "lame" person you've answered the question. Just today i was watching Fox News and they had an expert (no i don't remember the name, i apologize) on with Glenn Beck, and she held a book written by Tom Daschle and in there was an idea for passing a heathcare plan through a financial plan unknowingly so as to pass the heathcare plan, and it was found by that expert that in fact the senate had done just that. So your claim that they used high powered lasers, yes i agree, that is a very childish claim, but not so childish that Bush is a criminal genious. In my opinion, your article is saying that since Hitler or Stalin fell from power due to death or otherwise, that it wouldnt be possible for another person or persons to do such a thing? I may have taken this wrong, but either way I do believe in this day and age, anything is possible. I did enjoy your article, and will look for more, but please sir, for the better benefit of your mind, mine, and the other readers, maybe look into these theorists ideas, some of them make quite a bit of sense and take very little thought. And yes it may seem like i am anti-american by my thoughts here, but i will have you know, i served this country during the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, as an infantryman, and i've lost friends and brothers in this war, I am not against America nor the American democracy, but I am against the ideas put forth by the "Illuminati", "NWO", and whatever other groups MAY be involved in the demise of our country as it was built. thank you”
2. Kathleen Turner said... on Feb 17, 2009 at 01:29PM
“I, Jeff Fisher aka Jante Degaul plus at least 147 others. I will endorse this womderful music producer. As will Albert Arnold Gore Jr and even Richard Branson (Virgin Atlantic Records). Remy also has told me about the following people who also should be considered to get endorsed by World Peace Patriot Team of Gore-Branson-Fisher. I am in Philadelphia and I will make sure all those in uniform serving our nation do come home and treated with Honor and Respect and Love Update to the above youtube. I Jeff Fisher meant to say Barrels of Oil, NOT GALLONS!!!!!!”
3. philosophy student said... on Aug 29, 2010 at 01:19AM
“No, America is not an older nation than Italy or Germany. It simply is an older State. Sometimes I even wonder if America can be considered a nation...”