The New York Post: Now With More Marxism!

Even the GOP's staunchest defenders realize there's no percentage defending a failed economic system.

By Steven Wells
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 7 | Posted Mar. 23, 2009

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There are times when history runs up and knees you so hard in the nuts that you have to sit down, take a series of deep breaths and try to figure out where the exactly the fuck you are. I’m talking about those times when the ground shifts and you suddenly find yourself totally twilightzoned, cut adrift in a sea of barking-mad cartoon dolphins swimming gleefully through a sea of cold rice pudding under a gurgling Tellytubby baby sun.

I am of course talking about the communist take-over of the New York Post.

Only a few weeks ago the Post was a festering sore covered handmaiden of greed, racism, selfishness and evil. It published a cartoon that all right-thinking and honest people believe portrayed President Obama as a freshly slaughtered rabid chimpanzee. The editor then compounded this assholery with an faux-apology that attacked the Post’s critics as “opportunists”

Well what a difference a month makes. The New York Post headline for March 18, referencing the swine at AIG paying themselves million dollar plus bonuses out of my fucking taxes, screamed: NOT SO FAST YOU GREEDY BASTARDS.

This was a headline that nailed the zeitgeist, giving voice to the righteous anger of millions of working class Americans who would—if they ever met one these bloated, paper-shuffling, bean-counting, thieving mountebanks—take them into the street and give them a damned good two-fisted thrashing, followed by a damned good steel-toecapped kicking, before robbing the bastard and heading back to the pub to redistribute the wealth by way of a damn good piss up. HUZZAH!

I was so shocked I bought a copy. Do you think Rupert Murdoch knows that one of his neutered reactionary poodles is trotting out front covers that make Socialist Worker look like the The Economist? Of course he does. Rupert Murdoch knows everything. He probably ordered the immediate adoption of the Bolshevik worldview throughout the News International print empire the minute he realized that only a total fucking imbecile could possibly sing the praises of the so-called free-market in the deregulated nightmare horror wreckage of the voodoo economy designed by Reagan, nurtured by Clinton and brought to terrible, surreal and deranged fruition by the idiot George W. Bush.

Murdoch knows that one day soon a significant proportion of the proles will once again be conned by the big lie that capitalism is good for the little guy. But until then he’s tacking with the wind. The man is no fool. (Expect public appearances dressed in a Che T-shirt and sporting a Mao cap worn at a radically rakish angle.)

But the pro-working class shift at the Post is more than just cosmetic. Inside that same issue was a column—spare SPARE US YOUR FAKE FURY, DC HYPOCRITES—that could have come straight from the pen of Leon Trotsky.

The writer lashed out at Democrats who—while now posing as outraged defenders of common decency over the AIG debacle (or Swillgate as I like to call it)—are filthy capitalist running dogs who until last week were down on their knees willingly and eagerly fellating AIG's hideously curly little cock.

The Post writer SKEWERED Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner who is now making out like Karl Marx but just a few weeks ago cravenly approved the AIG bonuses.

She CRUCIFIED the pro-capitalist hypocrite Barak Obama as a fake socialist who received over $101,000 from AIG in campaign contributions.

She EVISERATED “corporate crony” Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut who is now waving the red flag of bloody revolution (or at least demanding that the $450 million bonus money be taxed back into the public coffers) but who last month authored an amendment seeking protection for those very same bonuses. Oh yes he did!

And she TWISTED THE CALCIFIED NIPPLES of Sen. John McCain for huffing and puffing like a hard-core commie now but utterly failing to oppose taxpayer bail-outs for capitalist pigs back when it mattered.

In short, the writer seems to be saying, the Democrats are in no way liberal or progressive except perhaps where the advocacy of such ideas might further the interests of their paymasters —the capitalist ruling class. Further, the writer implies, the Democrats cannot be trusted to represent the interests of decent, ordinary, working class American taxpayers who should have no truck with the Democratic hyenas but should instead (she seems to be arguing) from their own revolutionary working class party based on the sound Marxist principles so clearly articulated both in the Post’s front page headline and this marvelously anti-capitalist article.

So who was this Red virago? This Bolshevik bombshell? This kickass commie commentator? This patriarchal pig puncturing punk rock princess of the pinko polemic? Step forward … former neo-con Auntie Tom, Michelle Malkin.

Seriously. And —kaboom—the street beneath your feet turns to warm toffee and day becomes night and up becomes down and newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away ….

Nurse, the smelling salts.

Take a step back and the fact that Michelle Malkin is now an out-and-out communess should not come as a shock. For one thing the woman has to make a living, and, given the total collapse of every single policy—foreign and domestic—expounded by the right in the past 50 years—what newspaper in its right mind would hire her to carry on spouting the same old tired pro-greed, pro-ruling class, pro-selfishness, pro-exploitation and pro-imperialist poppycock that she marketed so successfully during the W. years?

And Malkin knows her history. She knows that most of the original hard-core neo-cons were Trotskyists back in the day. And she has no doubt surmised that, now neo-conservatism has been completely discredited, the only local response for a suddenly homeless ex neo-con is to become a Trotskyist.

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Comments 1 - 7 of 7
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1. Anonymous said... on Mar 23, 2009 at 04:34PM

“Yeah, state socialism kicks ass! It restores human dignity to people

Family who are 'too fat to work' say £22,000 worth of benefits is not enough

A family of four with a combined weight of 83 stone say they are "too fat to work" and need more than the £22,000 they currently receive in benefits.

Philip Chawner, 53, and his 57-year-old wife Audrey weigh 24st. Their daughter Emma, 19, weighs 17st, while her older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 18st.

The family from Blackburn claim £22,508 a year in benefits, equivalent to the take-home pay from a £30,000 salary.

The Chawners, haven't worked in 11 years, claim their weight is a hereditary condition and the money they receive is insufficient to live on.

Mr Chawner said: "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."

The family claim to spend £50 a week on food and consume 3,000 calories each a day. The recommended maximum intake is 2,000 for women and 2,500 for men.

"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told Closer magazine.

You go England!!! Keep making us proud!!”

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2. Anonymous said... on Mar 23, 2009 at 07:13PM

“Yeah take that grate shitting!!!”

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3. Anonymous said... on Mar 23, 2009 at 10:24PM

“Now now, let's get it right. It's Great SHITTIN. 'Shitting' is just plain silly innit?”

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4. Anonymous said... on Mar 24, 2009 at 05:49AM

“But wouldnt Grate Shitain be even funnier!!!? How about Grate Shitstain!!!? Or the Poonited Kingdom!!!? Where all the "shitizens" have "fecal rites"!!!? LOL!!!! ROLF!!!! LOLROLFROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! FOAD!!!!!!!!!!”

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5. Anonymous said... on Mar 24, 2009 at 08:45AM

“Ha. No matter how you slice it, Britain's funny. Know what's really funny? Britain's economic crisis will likely last longer than in other countries, according to the IMF. The British Pound pound is now used as toilet paper. And what are the British concentrating on? The health problems of a Pikey who screamed racist abuse on a reality TV show. You just stay classy, Britain, and keep making us laugh!”

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6. Anonymous said... on Mar 24, 2009 at 12:42PM


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7. Anonymous said... on Jul 5, 2009 at 03:42PM

“twats. no really, you utter twats.”


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