The Great Unraveling of the Right

Are the Oath Keepers for The Man? Or for The People?

By Steven Wells
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 20 | Posted Apr. 26, 2009

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 And these guys—the teabaggers and the Oathies and the Fox News frothers and their backup crazies in the woods—they know that the ultimate goal of Barrack Hussein Obama (or, to give him his full name: Barrack Hussein Robin Hood Zapata Trotsky Lenin Mao Pol Pot Lone Ranger Roosevelt Jesus Christ Mr. Rodgers Mother Theresa Kriss Kringle Your Mom Obama) is to force—force I tell you!—working Americans to take two, maybe even three weeks off a year. And go on vacation. Or maybe stay at home and catch up with the chores a bit. The red bastard.*

 *DISCLAIMER: The above article is a spoof. The United States of America is the greatest possible country ever. There is no way it could possibly be improved in any way at all. (Except by the possible reinstatement of the person and the policies of George W. Bush). And that includes the introduction of universal health care and more holidays. Especially the latter. Because vacations are the tool of the devil.

In fact contrary to any statements made in the above article, the author would like to state that all European countries—but especially France and “Great Shitting”—are communist-run hell-holes that impose Sharia law on their poor, benighted forced-to-take-holidays slave-citizens (all of whom are desperate to be Americans, stop taking vacations, get guns and start shooting up schools) and that sewage does in fact flow down the down the middle of the streets of both London and Paris. I’ve been there. It’s disgusting. U.S.A! U.S.A! Hey buddy, if you don’t like it here you can always go the fuck home and stop stealing a job of a some poor goddamn unemployed REAL American.

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Comments 1 - 20 of 20
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1. Alfie from the council flat said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 08:13AM

“Well done Steven! Keep smashing those Septic Tanks bruvva! Those fat moronicunts deserve the worst!

P.S. Love the sarcastic ending! The dumb Yanks will never get it!”

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2. Alfie's friend Mick said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 10:31AM

“My good mate Alfie told me about this Yank paper. I hate Septics too so maybe I'll subscribe!”

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3. Anne Smith said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 01:23PM

“Interesting points. Just one question: what's a croque messier? I've only heard of a croque monsieur or a croque madame. Maybe my French is so rudimentary I'm missing a play on words or I haven't been to the right cafes?”

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4. Steven Wells said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 02:35PM

“It's like that. Only messier.”

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5. Steven Wells said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 05:28PM

“It's such a great disguise that it's hard to tell but, on balance, I think it's probably an entirely different paranoid bald guy with half a skull for a face.”

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6. Anonymous said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 05:30PM

“//And if there’s one thing the founding fathers hated even more that gays, blacks, feminists and gun control it was communism//

Nah, they pretty much just hated Englishmen. End of story.”

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7. Steven Wells said... on Apr 27, 2009 at 06:14PM

“Sean, mate—hate to break this to you—they were Englishmen. Don't they teach you anything at school these days?”

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8. Anonymous said... on Apr 28, 2009 at 01:33AM

“Either you didn't recognize mask man's speech or you think Patrick Henry was a terrorist.

That was done on the anniversary of Patrick Henry's famous speech and is a modernized version of it- to commemorate the day.”

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9. Steven Wells said... on Apr 28, 2009 at 08:31AM

“Gee, I just thought he looked really cool and not like a total dick or anything at all. Hey, since when did so-called patriots cower behind masks and the label "anonymous"? You think the revolution would have even happened if the Declaration of Independence had been signed with a bunch of anonymous x's? Every time you post anonymously you stab the very idea of America in the back. With the knife of cowardice. And literally—literally—piss on the Constitution. With the uterus of fake-patriotism. You disgust me, you cowardly liberal scum.

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10. Fred said... on Apr 30, 2009 at 02:55PM

“May want to check your facts, Steven. The Oath Keepers were formed during the Bush admin, just gaining major steam now. I'm guessing you never took an oath, so probably wouldn't understand their premise anyway.

Yes, there are some crazies in the group, but those who point that out normally think Pelosi and Reid are completely normal.

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11. Long Live the Real IRA said... on Apr 30, 2009 at 07:29PM

“Will somebody in Philly send this cocksucking Limey home already? Preferably in a bag! Typical piss ant Slimey, pisses and moans to get a chance to live in America and then sits around talking shit about it all day.....but I guess it beats scraping by on that fucking muzzard infested, dreary fucking island from where he crawled. Scumbag. God fuck YOUR queen!”

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12. Steven Wells said... on May 2, 2009 at 08:51PM

“Wow Sean from New York (aka Guardian Sucks aka Alfie aka The Cranky Yank etc),

What a fantastic post.

You managed to combine

Support for Marxist terrorists ("Long Live the Real IRA")


homophobia ("cocksucking")


racism ("muzzard")


incitement to murder ("preferably in a bag")

Well done, mate.

And yeah, fuck MY Queen. (You really don't have a clue, do you?)

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13. Wells is a cunt! said... on May 7, 2009 at 05:43AM

“WRONG! Douche!”

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14. Steven Wells said... on May 8, 2009 at 05:47PM

“I just love, simply, love the way you use the word "douche". Makes you sound real edgy. But it's spoiled a bit by the sad fact that you're still cowering behind a fake name, and thus embarrassing the heroes that created this great nation. Shame on you, you chicken-livered plastic patriot, shame on you. It that sort of no-balls attitude had been prevalent in 1776, we'd all be speaking English.

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15. Anonymous said... on May 9, 2009 at 01:00AM

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn! Thank GOD we're not speaking the bullshit version of it that you and your ilk speak! 'eh guvnor?? But I digress, you're a fucking cunt.”

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16. Steven Wells said... on May 9, 2009 at 09:00AM

“Yaaaaaaaaaaawn! Oh agreed. A total cunt. But not the sort of cunt who makes anonymous death threats.
Another question: Given that you hate people of British descent who live in the US, do you think all 41 million of them should be deported?

(Although I guess the real question is—every week you get your ass handed to you on a plate, and you still you come back for more. Do you actually enjoy being humiliated? Are you a masochist? Is this is sex thing you've got going on here?)”

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17. Richard Wesley said... on May 9, 2009 at 09:41PM

“Steven, you don't get it. Oath Keepers are fighting against the decay of this country from Federalism. The Feds are your god as you look to them for all the solutions to your problems. Our country used to be free. Now you need a license or a permit to marry, drive, and pretty much everything else. Did you get persmission from the government to write this piece? Oh ya, they granted you an SSN so they could let you work for them. When the Bill of Rights were improperly applied to the states in 1897, this country started down the path towards its own destruction. We are just circling the drain, faster and faster as time marches on. You just want to sit on the sidelines and let the Republican/Democrat mafia suck America dry.”

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18. Mark said... on May 11, 2009 at 03:38AM

“I took an oath to up hold the Constitution, that makes me an Oath Keeper. Anyone who is opposed to groups like "the Oath Keepers" clearly has no understanding of American history or the crisis we face today.

FYI--The attempt to disarm the people on April 19, 1775 was the spark of open conflict in the American Revolution. That vile attempt was an act of war, and the American people fought back in justified, righteous self-defense of their natural rights. Any such order today would also be an act of war against the American people, and thus an act of treason. We will not make war on our own people, and we will not commit treason by obeying any such treasonous order.

FYI--Our nation is a Republic (not a democracy) and as such it operates under the Rule of Law as found in the Constitution. The governments roll is therefore limited and well defined, it's primary responsible is to Protect The Rights of the People. This means that the government is set up to ensure man's freedom and protect him from brutal force. Out founders knew a problem can arise, however, in that the government can become the brutal force. That is why they gave us the second amendment.

FYI--Tennessee has joined Montana in sending the federal government a loud message — hands off our guns. These new laws, currently under consideration in both Montana and Tennessee, say if firearms are manufactured and sold inside their respective states (and do not cross state lines), then federal gun law would not apply. This is just the beginning of more and more States reclaim their sovereignty and rejecting the march toward a New World Order that would impost 'World Law' on the American people. Gun rights and privacy are good places from which to start as "We The People" begin to RECLAIM our liberty by demanding our Government obey the Constitution.

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19. Murphy's Lawyer said... on Jul 7, 2009 at 12:58PM

“At first, I was really sad to hear of Wells' passing. I used to read NME a lot back in the old days, before I had real-life concerns to deal with, such as a career and family. Oh, the rockin' is still important, but it doesn't pay the bills, which keep on coming no matter how loud the music is crankin'.

Today, I've been reading a bunch of his columns, and I can't get past the unfettered hatred of all things American, or even slightly American-friendly. What an incredible idiot Steven was! He probably should have been under the care of a benign caregiver, all the days of his life.

Sorry he had to go out that way, as I've battled cancer myself and have it on the run for the moment. I feel empathy for anyone who has to go down this hideous road.

On the other hand, screw him. Hundreds of thousands of my American countrymen died to keep the world free, in the past century, including several men in my extended-family. My own Dad fought the Japs, in the Pacific.”

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20. TheMouse said... on Jul 9, 2009 at 02:07PM

“One who takes an oath is not automatically an oath keeper. Many have given an oath ( ie: presidents on inauguration day ) who were never and probably WILL never be anything more than an oath maker.

I'm proud to say I've met some of the founding members of the Oath Keepers and know personally the man behind the mask ( he was active duty Marine when he had the mask on and has since gotten out and has taken the mask off and gone public ).

It's interesting to hear Oath Keepers lumped together with murderers, to have them labeled as wishing to re-enact slavery and as being racists. The oath keepers I know are none of those.

What makes me admire the Oath Keepers whom I've is that they're willing to lay their life on the line for the constitutional liberties of even their worst accuser. Some of the hateful garbage which has been slung at them here on this forum, as distasteful as it is, would not be adequate to turn them from their resolve. They're people of honor !”


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