Philadelphia's Best Dive Bars

By Brian McManus
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 26 | Posted Apr. 6, 2011

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Like Tailhook Tavern (3522 Cottman Ave. 215.338.4027) in the Great Northeast, Cookie’s Tavern in deep South Philly is a military bar. Specifically, it’s a Marine bar, as longtime owner James “Daddy Wags” Wagner joined the Corp in ’64, where he spent four years, serving two tours in Vietnam and being awarded a Purple Heart.

His service and his Corp meant a lot to him, and since the mid-’70s, Cookie’s Tavern has played host to a gigantic bash commemorating the birth of the Marines, which were born in a Philadelphia bar called Tun Tavern on Nov. 10, 1775. Every year on that date, the streets around Cookie’s are blocked off, and thousands of current and former Marines gather with their families to celebrate by tossing a few back. It remains one of the biggest Marine bashes in the country.

Daddy Wags died of a brain tumor in 2002, on Nov. 5. But the birthday celebration carried on without him that year, and continues on today, his spirit as guide. His daughter, Marion, runs Cookie’s now, and it’s a tight ship, if she’ll please excuse the Navy pun. Inside the smoke-choked bar, grizzled Marine Corp youngins cozy up next to old heads from the neighborhood and veterans of foreign wars.

There’s a sign behind the bar that reads “We don’t call 911,” and you get the feeling it’s no joke. Not just because one of the main bartenders at Cookie’s, Big Mike, is deaf and therefore couldn’t call even if he wanted to.

Dotted around the bar are Semper Fi memorabilia and homages to Philly sports teams. They keep it bright in Cookie’s, which can be distracting if it’s late and you’ve had more than your share—it constantly looks like last call in there. Some say it’s so Big Mike can show off his always freshly manicured nails. He’s even talked about getting diamonds pressed into them.

If that sounds a bit strange for a bar as macho as this one, it is. But dude is a hulk of a man, and no one is going to fuck with him. Not even a Marine. If someone does, remember, they don’t call 911.

Cousin Danny’s Exotic Haven

320 S. 52nd St.
Dive Bar Rating: 5

Cousin Danny’s Exotic Haven is the nastiest dive-y strip club to ever have a Twitter account. I’ll put my money on that. Follow them @exotichaven for nuggets like this: “Your Tuesday nights will never be the same again cousindanny’s presents $2 lap dance tuesdays also $2 wing platters.”

That’s $4 for wings and breasts. (Ba dump dump!)

Cousin Danny’s Exotic Haven boasts that it’s the oldest black-owned strip club in Philadelphia. Don’t know about that, but it has been around for quite some time. It was formerly the Pony Tail. Come to think of it, I don’t know about those wing platters, either. Only food I’ve seen in the place are never-ordered containers of Cup O Noodles, which sit behind the bar alongside the liquor.

Cousin Danny’s is a narrow place. A banquette to the left hugs the wall, a shotgun bar to the right adorned with Christmas lights sticks out to accommodate the stage and pole behind it. On that pole, for years, is a dancer and West Philly institution named Big Kim. Kim is hefty—300 plus if you had to put a number on it—but she can whirl around the pole behind Danny’s bar with the best of them.

She can also chug a full bottle of Corona with no hands, swallowing the last few ounces as she commands the bottle’s neck to go in and out, in and out of her mouth and partly down her throat. It’s a show that lives up to the tattoo on her arm: “52 Block Sexy” above and below the Rolling Stone’s lips and tongue logo. (Though you get the distinct feeling she’s not really a fan of the band.)

Last time I was in Cousin Danny’s, I brought a friend. When we walked through the narrow space between the barstools and banquette, one of the dancers looked us in the eyes and said, “Evening, officers,” as we took our seats. As the only white guys in the place, the meaning was not lost on us.

A couple nights later, Cousin Danny’s bouncer, 27-year-old Orlando Morrison, was shot and killed while working the door. Putting an officer inside might not be a bad idea.

Caprice Villa Lounge

5000 Market St.
215.748.4499
Dive Bar Rating: 3

When you pass Caprice Villa Lounge on the El headed east, the only sign you see is above the side entrance, which reads, rather simply and in block letters, HNIC. For those unawares, the acronym stands for Head Nigga In Charge, presenting an instant dilemma for customers of a lighter pigmentation. But pale patrons are rare at Caprice Villa, and in this neighborhood in general, a pocket of West Philly under the El that’s yet to be touched by the so-called “Penntrification” that’s sweeping west of the Schuylkill River and has rebranded a huge swath of it University City.

That’s not to say they’re not welcoming, as bartender Carolyn or anyone pouring at Caprice will happily get you whatever you need. Caprice has been open four decades, celebrating its 40th Anniversary in April 2010. For generations it’s been owned by the Hines Family, and Willie Hines is the name on the paychecks nowadays. Framed pictures of the Hines family hang around the bar, as does a plaque commemorating the life of family matriarch Lucy Hines, who lived to be 85 (Jan. 19, 1922–March 19, 2007).

There are lots of rules posted around Caprice. For instance, anyone caught using or selling drugs will be banned permanently. No hoodies. No loitering. No soliciting. A few Dodge City video poker games dot the outside wall of Caprice, and have “For Amusement Only” signs on them lest someone get drunk enough to forget they’re in Pennsylvania and not Atlantic City.

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COMMENTS

Comments 1 - 26 of 26
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1. john david said... on Apr 6, 2011 at 08:29AM

“In your article you have the address for Gil's Good Time Tavern as 5956 Chester Ave in Fishtown. No such address in Fishtown.”

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2. Anonymous said... on Apr 6, 2011 at 08:34AM

“Wasn't this published before? Am I having bad flashbacks?”

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3. skatenlayton said... on Apr 6, 2011 at 12:46PM

“Real Funny! I'd love to go see a three hundred pole dancer that can swallow a long neck.”

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4. pete hoge said... on Apr 6, 2011 at 10:00PM

“After 20 years of drinking, and landing in a psych unit
for 6 days because of alcoholic psychosis, I don't think
alcohol and drugs or the dive bars they are sold in are
cool anymore.

Still I enjoyed the article because it means Philly still
has some dirt under the rock., and resembles a real
live city from a Bukowski piece.”

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5. Jon said... on Apr 7, 2011 at 01:52PM

“Because of the original Owner Daddy Wag's and it's Marine Corps afilliation; I love this place. "Semper Fi". Cookies is a Marines place to go.
Cookies is Tun Tavern of the day. May the tradition continue on.”

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6. Darlene said... on Apr 7, 2011 at 03:56PM

“WOW! You call yourself a professional? I call you a disgrace! It is one thing to talk and joke about a "smoke-choked bar" or someones manicured, diamond nails. But to make fun of someones disability is disgusting to say the least. This man that you are making a joke of is someones father, someones husband, someones brother, someones friend, someones son! Did you consider the feelings that may have been hurt by your heartless comments? Why don't you sit back for a minute and think about someone you love and think about how you'd feel if some asshole hurt that person. It wouldn't feel so good would it? Michael (or "Big Mike" as you called him) is a very close friend to me and I am sickened by this article. You talk about how he is a "hulk of a man" and you came up with a lot to say about him but the truth is, you don't know ANYTHING! You don't know that he has a hulk of a heart and would do anything for anyone. In my opinion and in the opinion of everyone who REALLY knows Michael, your next article should be an apology!”

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7. Brian McManus said... on Apr 8, 2011 at 09:24AM

“@Darlene. I do want to apologize to those offended. There was certainly no disrespect intended toward Michael. I've been to Cookie's a few times, and he's been everything you describe here: he's very sweet, and seems like a hell of a guy. If that got lost in my blurb of the place (which I like quite a bit) then, yes, I'm sorry about that.”

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8. Maggie said... on Apr 8, 2011 at 09:32AM

“Heredelin is a skinflint, not a spendthrift.
5956 Chester Ave. is in Southwest Philadelphia.”

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9. Peggy said... on Apr 8, 2011 at 10:29AM

“Is this guy nuts nothing of what he is saying is true . How is it that someone can right this stuff and not have the facts. As Darlene said you are a DISGRACE !! What you said about the 15 th Round and Billy and the other bars is not true at all. I would like to know who it was that approve these articles !!”

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10. Anonymous said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:07PM

“Where the RICHIE ANTIPUNA article ?????????? Does anyone know ??? We want to read that article instead.”

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11. Kim Downey said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:12PM

“I'm a proud member of the KENZO PRIDE page on Facebook that was created and is ran by Richie Antipuna. I'm wondering where the article you recently wrote about him and Kenzo movement is? Richie is making a difference in so many peoples lives and WE THE PEOPLE OF KENZO PRIDE would really like to read this article. Thank you.”

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12. Coleen said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:20PM

“I would like to know where the article is form RICHIE ANTIPUNA and The KENSINGTON PRIDE page????? I believe i read this article before!! Don't u think ppl should be told about all the good Richie and his site ( Kenzo pride) are doing? I'm a PROUD KENZO and their are alot of other PROUD KENZO'S on the page!! RICHIE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, We your fellow KENZO's Love the difference your making in our lives!! Why don't this paper provide a real story of someone trying to make a difference for everyone??”

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13. Kenzo Pride said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:24PM

“Hey I heard there was a great article by Tara - she wrote a story with Richard Antipuna and The Kensingston Pride Facebook page. I would like to know where this story is. I am interesting in seeing what Kensington is really about instead of listening to all the bad publications someone finally stepped up and showed the True Colors of KENZO PRIDE !!! CHECK IT OUT !!!!!!!!”

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14. Mary Bowen said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:25PM

“I am one of the many proud members of the Kenzo Pride site on Facebook which is ran by a thoughtful, dedicated, and awesome friend Richard Antipuna. I was wondering where his article is, Here is a man who is willing to step up to the plate and make a difference for his fellow man and woman. I do not want to read about a dive bar when there should be an article about someone who is doing more good for our neighborhood. That is what your readers really want! Thank you”

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15. Kenzo Pride said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:30PM

“Why dont I see any Kensington Bars on this site? I heard Kensington was makign a difference and everyone was showing that its not as bad as everyone says. There is a great site on Facebook "Kenzo Pride" check it out it shows what Kenzos are really about. Also Richard Antipuna has an article on here that sheds light on the truth behind the streets of Kensington. Everyone should read it !!!

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16. KENZO PRIDE said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:36PM

“““I AM A PROUD MEMBER OF THE KENZO PRIDE PAGE ON FACEBOOK RAN BY A GREAT PERSON RICHARD ANTIPUNA AND I WAS WONDERING WHER THE ARTICLE FOR RICHARD ANTIPUNA IS CAUSE HES MAKING A DIFFRENCE AND WE AS THE KENZO PRIDE MEMBERS ARE HELPING HIM WITH THE MOVEMENT AND WANNA READ THIS AND THANX TO THE PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY AND TARA WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE FOR US AND RICHARD ANTIPUNA”


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17. angie said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:41PM


“I would like to know where the article is from RICHIE ANTIPUNA and The KENSINGTON PRIDE page....
I AM A Proud Member OF THE KENZO PRIDE PAGE ON FACEBOOK

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18. Kenzo Pride 8 said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 09:44PM

“Hey Where is the Richard Antipuna article at????? I want to read about a man who is making a difference, people want to read about things that matter and Richie matters. Never have I seen anyone who is willing to go the distance to make a change and stand up for people. It is nice to see good things being told about Kensington rather than all the negativity its getting. I speak not only for myself but for my many fellow Pride members when I say that is an article truly worth reading.
thank you”

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19. Aleafia Davalos said... on Apr 19, 2011 at 10:12PM

“I wanna read about the Richie Antipuna article!!! He is doing a wonderful thing with the page and it should be recognized! I am a PROUD KENZO PRIDE MEMBER!!!”

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20. melissa vanhorn said... on Apr 20, 2011 at 01:21AM

““Where is the RICHIE ANTIPUNA article ?????????? KENZO PRIDE 100%”

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21. steve lee said... on Apr 20, 2011 at 11:47AM

“Just read the article, search some more. As for Jack's famous being a dive???? Never went in there, went up the street to Hoff's Hut, or to a couple other truly Dive Bars, Kellis''s and the infamous Bubble Club now and then when it was very late!”

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22. Jim Russo said... on May 4, 2011 at 08:08AM

“The edification and current "mystique" of neighborhood drinking establishments now defined as dive bars is nothing but another disposable hipster trend for any dufus who has read too much Bukowski. Such social thrill-seeking cretins swathed in scarves, knit caps and tight-ass jeans riding vintage bikes will eventually peddle away to the next meta-trend in recreational slumming...bowling, haunting all night diners, whatever... Another example of the generational philosophical tenant that something means everything and nothing at the same time and the perverse desire of those who inhabit a virtual/cyber universe to experience the "authentic."”

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23. Anonymous said... on Jun 24, 2012 at 12:03PM

“FYI Big Mike is a lifetime Megan's Law offender!!! Now there the truth Darlene!”

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24. scott alexander said... on Sep 10, 2012 at 01:55PM

“hi,, this message is for, marion who runs the bar cookies south philly, or whoever sees this message,, i lost a small dog[ chihuahua], a few months ago,in south philly ,howard st 2614 south,,, some1 gave me a tip that some guy was at cookies bar, few months ago, seen a chihuahua, grabbed him, and said that he would holdon to him, if the person who owns him doesnt come forward,, please help me, he could be a regular customer at cookies,, can you put this info on your door and in the bar[i dont live there in philly] have family there,,they lost the dog,, pleaseput this info on the door, ill try to get a photo also to you there,, hes a small chihuahua,, dark brown, long nose [snout , beak], short hair, little pointy ears, curly tail,, name is rocko,,was lost in this area close to your location,, please we miss him,, any1 sees this message,, who goes to cookies,, put this info there,,there is a reward,, my ph-518-645-0483,,please call me with any info,,thank you scott”

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25. Anonymous said... on Sep 5, 2014 at 04:29PM

“Clark Deleon is the king of the dive bars. He practically lived in one and wrote about it for years and got paid for it. Google 'the pain of Clark DeLeon' and you can read where it got him. He even wrote about his bartender so many times that when his bartender open up his own place, Clark used his column to promote that. Why would a columnist give so much free publicity to a dive bar? Was it for free drinks? Or for the right to be the biggest jerk in the place and not get thrown out of there?

He admits that his editors heard enough of him. But he imagines that most of the Inquirer readers enjoyed it.

When most dads have a day with their kid, they take their kid to the park or the play ground, but not Clark. He takes his pre-school little girl to the bar to soak up the second hand smoke and watch the drinkers get smashed. And tells her that it's a "cherry store". And then he preaches to the newspaper readers about what a great guy he is.”

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26. Anonymous said... on Dec 20, 2014 at 11:46AM

“Biggest jerk in the place in an understatement. Somebody brought me in that place a few times and each time he had two goons guarding his back while he went from table to table shouting at people to give him ideas to write about. Everybody saw and heard it, you couldn't not hear it. But the bartender wouldn't flag him.

It looked like a school cafeteria shakedown except he wasn't taking anything physical from people, only ideas. And then he'd scream at them because the ideas weren't good enough. And throw hissy fits at them.

I wouldn't go back in there anymore because I was expecting it to become a major crime scene.

And then he claimed the job sucked. Earth to Clark: it wasn't the job that sucked.”

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