Better Than Best: Sex and Sports

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There’s not much of a competition when it comes to the Philadelphia area’s best-dressed coach. The obvious winner is the very natty Jay Wright ; the handsome head coach of Villanova University’s nationally ranked men’s basketball team. Wright’s sharp-looking outfits aren’t bought off the rack. For the past four years the coach has sported tailor made suits from DB Tailors of Newtown Square. According to his tailor Gabriele D’Annunzio, Wright prefers bespoke suits made from the finest Italian fabrics. D’Annunzio reports the style is typically a sleek three-button jacket, with non-vented, wide shoulders and a slightly longer coat. Wright looks dazzling in either gray or dark blue with windowpane checks or plaids that when combined with a stylish shirt and tie result in an array of fetching color combos. Unlike his local colleagues in the coaching profession, Wright is clearly a man who knows how to dress for success.

Court With The Best Air Up There

There are tons of great courts all over the city, but the little court at Seger Park takes the prize for being the best. Okay, they take the rims off the backboards too early, but stop by anytime and you’re bound to see a good game. Also, it’s easily accessible, so good players from all over stop by. If you can’t get into a game here—sorry, you’re probably not good enough—there are other courts close by (Sixth and Lombard, 10th and Bainbridge) where the play is more accessible. Just don’t call ticky-tack fouls on plays under the basket. Something better be dislocated if you’re calling a foul on a Philadelphia playground court.

Seger Park, 10th and Lombard sts.

Best Place to Buy Toys that Require Washing After Use

Some people care more about the quality of food they put in their mouths than the plastic they stick up their asses. But when it comes to the caliber of products that adventurous adults shove into their various holes, there’s no better destination than Sexploratorium , owned by Kali Morgan. Featuring everything from nipple clamps to dildos the size of a baby’s leg to bungee contraptions that turn your bedroom into a mini theme park ride (check out the “bound for adventure” series), the real advantage to shopping here is that the staff is carefully trained and even tested on merchandise knowledge. They are also trained to discreetly work with customers who may blush about asking how to operate the extra-large clear plastic speculum. Remember kids: Play hard, but play safe.

Sexploratorium, 620 S. Fifth St. 215.923.1398. sexploratoriumstore.com

Best Ass-Kicking Trainer

Personal trainer Liz Sherman is so talented she can put you through a workout so grueling that you want to puke, and yet she’s so perky and encouraging that you want to work even harder in order to please her. Don’t let her sunny disposition fool you: You do not want to fuck with this woman. Nevermind her bulging biceps, which put the chicken arms of many men to shame; the 29-year-old Sherman is also a professional boxer. A meeting with former champ Larry Holmes got her started. “He told me he liked my attitude,” she says. Sherman carries a 1-0 record—the win by knockout—into a Feb. 26 lightweight match against Shelly Brazil at The Arena in South Philly. You can try Sherman’s Wednesday afternoon boxing class at Sweat. Trust us: She’s going to kick your ass, but you’ll like it.

Sweat, 200 S. 24th St. sweatfitness.com

 Sports Figure With The Best Vaguely Pornographic Facial Hair

With his untamed locks, lantern jaw and wild serial-killer eyes, Jayson Werth makes the ladies swoon. (The way No. 28 just wrecks fastballs gets dudes a little aflutter too.) But the 6 foot 5 right fielder’s most identifiable characteristic isn’t his surprising bullet-like speed or his deadly bat, but the follicular jungle on the lower half of his mug. What begins in Spring Training as a trim Tera Patrick landing strip spreads into something out of a Boogie Nights revival by Hittin’ Season. Keep it natural, Jay, ’cause it’s working. Last postseason, his slugging percentage was clutch at .725, a spike from .506 in the regular season, the highest it’s been since signing with Toronto in 2002.

Best Phillies Coverage

Our Phils may have come up short in November, but through the heartache and the glory of the 2009 season, one sports news outlet kept us laughing: iSportacus . The blog, run by quizzo maven Johnny Goodtimes, Brett Meier-Tomkins and Foobooz’s Arthur Etchells crystallized moments like Werth’s home-plate steal and J. Roll’s two-out ninth-inning double in the NLCS, debated the merits of instant replay and Roy Halladay, mourned Harry Kalas, and wittily defended us against L.A. Times Dodgers writer T.J. Simers, who called Phillies fans a bunch of bloodthirsty “drunken uglies” and cried foul when the Fanatic TKO’ed a mock Dodger fan. Meier-Tomkins’s explained the situation to Simers: “You see, our furry mascot is not real, unlike the thousands of Crips that hang out in your ballpark. We don’t have a gang violence problem at CBP, but we heartily apologize if our mascot upset you with his oversized boxing gloves. We’ll ask that he tone it down next time.”

Best Interpretation of the Craigslist ‘Casual Encounters’ Section in Three Dimensions

While it’s true that partner-swapping suburban key parties are largely a thing of the past, “The Lifestyle” is still very much alive and kicking at a Southwest Philly club known as the Pleasure Garden Club . No, it’s not skanky or scary or gross: The Pleasure is clean and tidy with a “no pressure” policy and a non-intimidating vibe. And since very few single guys are allowed to join, the male-to-female ratio tends to be a bit more, well … attractive. There are over a half-dozen themed rooms, a multi-level “group play” area, a group shower, an on-site kitchen, and a decent-sized dance floor. But before simply showing up, call ahead or check the website to see what’s on order; RSVPs are occasionally suggested, and most nights cater to a specific crowd or scene.

Pleasure Garden Club, 6039 Passyunk Ave. 215.724.6090. thepleasuregardenclub.com.

Best Philadelphia Athlete

Hey, Cliff Lee ! Thanks for very nearly single-handedly winning the World Series against the New York Freaking Yankees for us! Here’s your reward: a trip out of town to play for the Seattle Mariners! Consider this award from Philadelphia Weekly your consolation prize. Yes, everyone knows Roy Halladay is going to be awesome as a member of the Phillies, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to miss you, Cliff. After all, you went 4-0 in the postseason, beat the Yankees twice in the World Series and rode the New York City subway to beat the traffic to your Game 1 World Series start. Thanks for the memories, Clifton Phifer Lee.

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1. Anonymous said... on Feb 24, 2010 at 01:34PM

“iSportacus? Seriously? Phillies Nation is way better for Phillies news. Take for example the most recent post at Phillies Nation on the signing of Brad Wilkerson. iSportacus didn't even post this. Oh, but they did post an article on their love of curling and a photo of Jayson Werth's shaggy dome. Thank God they're on top of the important Phillies news!”

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2. Johnny Goodtimes said... on Feb 24, 2010 at 03:47PM

“Sorry we didn't capture all of the excitement of the Brad Wilkerson signing. The next time the Phillies sign a career .247 hitter who used to play for the Nationals, we will be sure to do an 8 part essay highlighting that players career.

That being said, I kind of get the impression that this PW was highlighting some things that people have never heard of. Of course, Phillies Nation is a tremendous site. So are Beerleaguer and The Fightins. But I think everybody already knows about them. I think we happen to do a pretty decent job of covering the Phils, too, once the season starts, and it was cool of PW to maybe help expose us to some people who have never heard of our site before. I hope you'll give us a chance once the Phils season starts. I think you'll dig it. And we promise to be Philadelphia's leader in Brad Wilkerson news.”

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3. Patrick said... on Feb 24, 2010 at 04:52PM

“"Hey, Cliff Lee ! Thanks for very nearly single-handedly winning the World Series against the New York Freaking Yankees for us"

Umm...what about that guy Chase Utley?”

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4. hahahahaha said... on Feb 24, 2010 at 11:37PM

“hahaha phillies nation? hahahahhababahahahahahahahahahahaha

yeah stop complaining whoever posted from phillies nation to complain. your blog sucks. isportacus sucks, too, but at least they realize it.”

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5. Jared said... on Feb 26, 2010 at 10:57PM

“Awesome to see some love for Philadelphia Union! Hope everyone comes out for the home opener down at the Linc!”

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