Better Than Best: Sex & Sports

By PW Staff
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 8 | Posted Oct. 19, 2011

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Scariest New Martial Arts Trend

Two years ago, you could only find Krav Maga—the deadly Israeli self-defense technique—in a martial-arts studio over an hour’s drive away in New Jersey. But in the intervening months, Krav Maga has been embraced by Hollywood film stars, pseudo-celebrities and tough guys everywhere. Today, classes are offered at City Fitness on Spring Garden Street, at Sweat in NoLibs, and in Bucks County. You know what’s scary though? The fact that random Philadelphians are now learning to maim with their bare hands.

Krav Maga, City Fitness, 200 Spring Garden St.

Best Place to See Titties on a Tuesday

Have you ever been sitting home on a Tuesday night, thinking, “Damn, I want to drink and see some titties?” If you have, Onyx has the solution for your dilema. Make your way down Columbus Boulevard, pay your $20, then the rest of the time enjoy $2 cocktails and domestics while a smorgasbord of half-naked vixens treat you like you’re the King of Zamunda. At midnight, you have the option of enjoying a regularly $20 dance for the low price of $2. The food’s pretty good, too. That’s all you have to do. YOU are solely responsible for any additional monies spent.

Onyx, 2908 S. Columbus Blvd. 215.218.1040.

Best Really Really Good Pitcher on a Staff of Amazing Pitchers

If you’re someone constantly living in the shadows of four older, impossibly talented brothers, you might know how Vance Worley feels. Or haven’t you heard about R2C2? The best rotation in baseball consists of four aces who serve as inspiration for countless misspelled slogans (Phantastic Phour?), T-shirts and photo-shopped memes … and a fifth man. But with an 11-3 record and a 3.01 ERA, Worley is not your typical fifth starter. The bespectacled rookie replaced an injured Joe Blanton and immediately began paralyzing major league hitters–throwing the second most caught-looking K’s. With a season to rival the likes of Halladay, Hamels, Lee and Oswalt, Worley definitely deserves to win something—and if it’s not a starting spot in the playoffs, it might as well be accolades from us.

Best Acquisition By a Philly Sports Team

Phillies’ fans are quick to say so when they think Ruben Amaro Jr. has made a mistake (like trading Cliff Lee). But that doesn’t mean the general manager isn’t responsible for some big-payoff blockbuster moves (like, getting back Cliff Lee). The move that might have made all the difference this year? Acquiring Hunter Pence. The unintentional mastermind behind the most popular cheer at CBP since “Go Phillies!” is more than just a guy who gets hungry after an extra-innings game. Pence provided a much-needed boost to the offense, hitting .324 in 54 regular season games with the Phillies. Not only is he now an asset to the team, the endearingly unconventional outfielder’s outspoken affability has quickly made him a fan favorite.

Best Reason to Boycott the Eagles

Don’t let that win over the Deadskins fool you: This is a shit Eagles team. It’s tempting to pin it all on buffoon-coach Andy Reid, who refuses to draft a halfway decent linebacker, manages a clock worse than Flavor Flav and made Juan Castillo defensive coordinator. What, Pee-Wee Herman wasn't available? But the best reason to steer clear of the Eagles until they clean house remains Michael Vick. Not since Iverson’s crossover has an athlete pulled such a fast one in Philly and been beloved for it. His flashes of brilliance on the gridiron last year got him a fat new contract and Kevin Kolb a one-way ticket to Arizona. Sure, Kolb blows, but Vick hasn't been much better. During this turd of a season he’s reverted back to the Vick of old: Turnover machine, lousy passer, bad decision maker, pathetic field general. It's just a matter of time before he flips off the crowd. But hey, he just broke the NFL’s all-time QB rushing record! Yay. Until Vick and Reid are gone, there’s no good reason to root for this team.

Best Place to Find a Threesome You Won’t Remember

Making Time, running for 11 years now, is the hipster, gay-friendly monthly dance party that brings national indie music acts to a number of different venues throughout the City. But the best place to find that threesome is at Voyeur, where, as the clock ticks past midnight, dance beats intensify, shirts come off, and flirting intensifies into the perfect recipe for a threesome that’ll be fuzzy the next morning.

Making Time,

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Comments 1 - 8 of 8
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1. Brenna said... on Oct 19, 2011 at 12:52PM

“Can you please lay off the constant harping on female sexuality. Please. Enough. Enough of your nervous, giggly, childish coverage of pasties. Enough about the burlesque. Cover- just once- one of the many amazing dancers in our city who keep their clothes on. Enough of trying to convince me that I should be taking classes to learn how to strip for my health. Enough shoving the female form in my face, again and again and again. Pages and pages, week after week. I understand that advertising Porn and prostitution is the only reason why this paper is still in business. But enough. Your childish obsession with female sexuality does not encourage women to own and love their bodies. It teaches women to own their sexuality only as on object for men to view. Not enough to touch- but to VIEW.

People say print journalism is dying. Save it. Inspire me. Connect me to the events, the moments that make this city great. Please, I am asking you. You can do better than cover "titties." Can't you?”

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2. Bunny said... on Oct 19, 2011 at 01:07PM

“First of all, Brenna, WORD. THANK YOU for saying what most of the Weekly's female readers must be afraid to say, because clearly the Weekly keeps running this crap week after week and not facing the widescale disgust that (I hope) we are all feeling.

Second of all, Sex and Sports? Why not just name this the "stuff we hope gets guys off" section? I mean, have more respect for your female readers but have more respect for your male ones as well! Why do you have to underestimate every possible gender?”

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3. Anonymous said... on Oct 19, 2011 at 04:22PM

“What's wrong with female sexuality? What's wrong with stuff men get off on? Grow up, Brenna and Bunny. The world extends beyond your narrow, biased GWS classroom mentality.”

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4. mpc said... on Oct 20, 2011 at 09:04AM

“i agree, anonymous. while i understand brenna/bunny's POV to a certain extent, they should read a bit more carefully. Check out POPFIZZ for instance which is mentioned in this section. This is strictly a dance class (I went to a bachelorette party that used them!) and there is NO nudity or anything like that. Just a fun dance class with a real dance instructor. Isn't that what you're saying you want more of?”

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5. brenna said... on Oct 21, 2011 at 11:22AM

“My comments are about PW's coverage only. Not the classes, or the places or the people. It is all fine and great and part of the wide world of tastes and experiences.

It is a call to the paper to not focus so much on it's juvenile sense of sex.

So please, read my comment "a bit more carefully" and see that it is addressed to the PW and not about "stuff that men get off on".

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6. 1armedscissor said... on Oct 22, 2011 at 11:08PM

“Do you guys even watch Eagles games? Because, judging from your piece "The Best Reason To Boycott The Eagles", it looks like all you do is take a look at the stat sheet and then try to talk like you actually watched the game. If you did spend any time watching the games, you would notice specific things. Like the fact that nearly all of Mike Vick's interceptions are not his fault. They were results of Vick being hit while throwing, the ball being tipped at the line, and receivers being unreliable. It's not like Kevin Kolb, where he would look a linebacker in the eyes and throw it right to him. And speaking of Kolb, saying that Vick has not been much better than him is giving way too much credit to Kolb. Did you guys know Mike Vick is breaking records, both personal and league-wide, this year? And you say he is the team's problem? Try watching the games before making judgements, guys.”

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7. Steph said... on Nov 3, 2011 at 09:02PM

“Thanks for this article! I enjoyed it! I think hockey has the hottest men. They're just so rugged and strong. LOL. There's a good discussion of this over at TC Huddle. I found your article looking for more opinions on this.

This is a good article. Thanks! Here's the article that led me here if you're interested:”

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8. Krav Maga said... on Sep 6, 2012 at 01:45AM

“For the Krav Maga classes at Sweat Fitness and our Headquarters in Bucks County check out”


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