As Feds Debate Marriage Act, Couple Live Under the Threat of Deportation

By Tara Murtha
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 4 | Posted Jun. 8, 2011

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But announcing that DOMA will no longer be defended in court is not the same thing as striking it down. As long as the future of DOMA is unclear, so is fate of the Philadelphia couple that has become the angst-ridden faces of how DOMA affects binational gay families. “The number one thing binational couples can do in order to continue to advance the historic progress that we’re seeing on DOMA … is to share their stories,” advises Soloway. “We need to get their stories out there so people understand who they are and how they are impacted.”

Ironically, sharing his story with the press might have made things even worse for Tanumihardja back in Indonesia if he does, in the end, get deported anyway. “[My family] learned about [my sexuality] from CNN,” says Tanumihardja. “There’s a lot of reaction about that.” The family even asked Tanuminhardja to not be friends with a younger male relative on Facebook so no one would “tease him or beat him up” for being related to a gay man.

Like any engaged couple about to go for it, Tanumihardja and Andersen have one thing going for them that looms larger than fear: hope.

“Finally, after nine years being in this country trying to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, I found someone,” says Tanumihardja. “I believe he showed me his true love … We are getting officially married on June 12 and spend the rest of our lives together here in Philadelphia.”

To learn more about the DOMA Project, go to

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Comments 1 - 4 of 4
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1. Katie said... on Jun 8, 2011 at 12:25PM

“I was never on board the whole "Stay in the country" boat until it happened to this couple. Anton is an honest, tax-paying, "citizen". He pays his bills, he works a full time job, and he has so much passion in everything that he does. For him to have to leave the country would be a shame not only for his boyfriend, but for America itself. We need more honest people. (Have you seen our lawmakers, recently?)”

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2. Anonymous said... on Sep 24, 2011 at 11:35AM

“I don't think that Indonesia is a bad contry for gays. Time and situations have changed. There are some club and places for gays and lesbians to hang and meet. Also, some organizations that have been formed for gays and lesbians to joint for human right equality nowadays..”

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3. Anonymous said... on Jul 29, 2014 at 09:46AM

I stumbled on this email address robinsonbuckler few days ago, so i emailed him about my bad relationship condition, how my lover left me, how he was with another girl, so Mr Robinson told me it would take 3days to get my boyfriend back, i waited for 3 days, unbelievable my boyfriend came to my house asking me if we could try things out again. He broke up with the other girl and we rekindled and got back together, he now show me care and attention. Mr Robinson was my last hope, my last chance after all the spell casters I tried before, Mr Robinson kept his promise! he is the greatest spell caster on the internet, call Mr Robinson, he stays in UNITED STATE [1 9 7 1 5 1 2 6 7 4 5] for help”

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4. Anonymous said... on Jul 6, 2015 at 01:13PM

“I jumped into a relationship with a guy who was ten years old then me. We got engaged a month later and tried to have a baby. We had a lot of ups and downs in the relaitonship because he lived 45 miles away and that i could not drive. My parents and I did not get along and they did not like him. We were together for 7 months and lived together. He told me that he wants me to finish college, get my license and a job before we can continue the relationship because he does not want me to stay wth him and lose the oppoerunity to have a great college life. I love him so much and i wanted to be with him. I have explanined it to him and that i wont contanct him until i graduate is that a good idea. and also what should i do i was crying all the time. My friend adviced me using love spell. I entered the website and order the most powerful love spell. And I don’t regretted. My lover back to me.”


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