The Kool Kids?
Philly's newest hip-hop radio personality gets wholesome.
The Beat goes on: DJ Kendra G. wants girls to know she's not having sex (photo by michael persico).
Colby Colb, one of Philadelphia's veteran radio personalities, recently left his post as program director and host at 100.3 The Beat. He was one of the few voices in the city who connected with the young hip-hop set, who had a real knowledge of urban Philadelphia. Part of the lineup change is the introduction of a twentysomething Connecticut native who's made a pledge that may show some Colby-style commitment to Philadelphia high school girls.
Kendra G. knows some stats. She knows that 43 percent of teenagers between 15 and 19 have had sex at least once. She has a sister who became a teen mom. She also knows that being on the radio means young people are listening and may even do what she says. So she's charged her young female listeners to not have sex for an entire school year. The kicker? Kendra G. won't have sex either.
The initiative, called "Abstinence Is Kool," is odd because it isn't in response to dire circumstances. The American trend is to sit idle while the problem festers (see: the crack epidemic, Hurricane Katrina, Philly's violent crime rate), then claim a citywide or national emergency and deploy a thrown-together response. But there's no teen pregnancy or STD crisis. So why now?
"I give all the credit to God for putting this idea in my heart," Kendra says. "I knew the type of commitment it would take on my end and the criticism that always comes when you're trying to make a big difference. So I thought and prayed on it, and decided this is what I'm supposed to do."
To join the Kendra G. Klub, interested teens must pledge to stay abstinent for the whole school year and send a YouTube video confirming their pledge. Kendra plans to meet with participants for the first time this week and to stay in touch with them throughout the year.
"I just got a video and it made me so happy because I was one of those girls who wasn't [having sex as a teen] and I felt like an alien. People made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I want the girls who don't want to have sex at all to have an outlet and I want to be the voice for them."
100.3 The Beat's image isn't exactly in line with the Kendra G. Klub. Kendra typically plays the latest from the hip-hop and R&B charts, including some artists who fly in the face of a wholesome no-sex campaign. Kendra takes this in stride.
"These are the listeners who need to have this. People assume that it's hip-hop and the lyrics are against women and very sexual, but a lot of people who listen to hip-hop aren't like that. A lot of people listen for the beat, and for the party atmosphere." Kendra thinks her position as a hip-hop radio personality gives her the perfect platform. "Of course a gospel station can do it," she says, "but people listening to gospel stations are already aware of abstinence as an option. I want to talk to the ones who don't know."
The Abstinence Is Kool initiative has gotten some early backlash. On Jessica Valenti's site Feministing.com, one of the bloggers says turning young girls into "sexual gatekeepers" is sexist and naive given that boys aren't included in the campaign. Those in the sexual health arena find it problematic as well.
"Rates are certainly down--in 2005 the pregnancy rate for girls at this age group was 56 per 1,000, right around 5 percent," says Tristan Ruby, director of adolescent and male services at the Family Planning Council in Center City. "But we don't do abstinence-only programs because most research has shown these programs don't work. Some of it even shows negative outcomes, so we do more comprehensive sexuality education. We try to give all the information so teens can make positive, more responsible choices."
Ruby says abstinence is a great way for kids to protect themselves. "But eventually they will have sex," he says, "and making sure they have the right information is most important."
Data shows that long-term virginity pledges can have some negative impacts, like higher incidences of disease due to increased anal and oral sex--strategies kids employ to remain "technical" virgins.
There are, though, different definitions of abstinence.
"Obviously, I want them to all wait until they're married. But in order to get the idea out there I want to do it for the school year, because it'll give my pledges an understanding of how in-control they can be," Kendra says. "The goal is to get these girls to understand that they're in charge of their bodies."
About 25 girls have taken Kendra's pledge so far. As for including boys in the initiative, Kendra issues a challenge: "I can't tell a man how to be a man. My plan was to show my passion for the girls. But I want there to be an initiative like this for the men. So men, step up and create it!"
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Letters to the Editor
1. Keisha said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 07:59AM
“Kendra, it's all about self worth. i believe what you are doing is needed and admirable. If only one female is changed due to this pledge your work is accomplished. Never worry about the negativity, it only gives you grounds to succeed. KG”
2. Lori said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 08:32AM
“I think this is GREAT KENDRA G! The fact that you are using your voice to uplift our community and help our young generation along the way is amazing! Keep doing what your doing and I love that you credited God on guiding you to step out on making this decision to impact the community like this!”
3. Thegoddess1968 said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 10:53AM
“Your dedication and commitment is admirable. I comment you on the great job you are doing and your leadership ability. I am from Chicago and we miss you here. When one door closes another opens and God knew Philadelphia needed you more. Take Care!!”
4. Eyez said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 12:16PM
“Kendra, I think this is a WONDERFUL thing! Kudos to you for steppin' up and takin' a stand like this. Don't worry about the Nay-sayers! Whenever you decide to swim UPSTREAM instead of goin' with the flow you're gonna face opposition! Just remember, "Any dead fish can drift with the current, It takes a live fish to swim upstream!" Do ya thang girl! God-Bless, Keno”
5. Keno said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 01:16PM
“Kendra, I think this is a WONDERFUL thing! Kudos to you for steppin' up and takin' a stand like this. Don't worry about the Nay-sayers! Whenever you decide to swim UPSTREAM instead of goin' with the flow you're gonna face opposition! Just remember, "Any dead fish can drift with the current, It takes a live fish to swim upstream!" Do ya thang girl! God-Bless, Keno”
6. Nate_Wesley said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 02:11PM
“This is the hidden power in Black/Urban radio that doesn't get tapped into nearly enough. For all of the less than ideal messages expressed in our entertainment, we need projects like Kendra's to help younger listeners (and some adults, sadly) separate hype from reality. I hope there's a male DJ willing enough to start something equally helpful. You could probably go beyond simply promoting abstinence. It could be help in high school/college tutoring, an investment club, drives to collect food for shelters, etc. ”
7. Eyez said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 05:04PM
“I think this is a great idea. I'm am one of the girls that signed up to take this pledge. I think this pledge can help decrease teen pregnancy and stds. Its not alot of people these days that try to do things like this to help us. I think it was a good idea and i'm happy to be apart of it.”
8. Niena said... on Oct 8, 2008 at 08:55PM
“This is the best thing ever! I LOVE U KENDRA FOR TAKING THIS STEP. Every young woman should join the movement. I'm joining with you ladies! We miss you in Chicago!”
9. Lindsay said... on Oct 9, 2008 at 04:35AM
“I support this movement for young women, as well as young men. Let's revolutionize the concept of sexual purity and demonstrate that it is a lifestyle choice that is attractive, intelligent, purposeful and rewarding. Dr. Lindsay Marsh, President, Worth The Wait Revolution, Inc : www.iamworththewait.com”
10. lynne said... on Oct 9, 2008 at 04:42AM
“This is a very noble effort and I'm glad that you have decided to lead this up. It's sad that we think that its not feasible for our youth to abstain from sex and that we just come to accept their sexual activity as a norm. Initiatives like this are proof that there are people who believe that if given the choice, if shown the lifestyle and if supported in a positive light, our youth (both men and women) are capable of making the best decision for self preservation through abstinence. Armond Mosley www.kingdomworkshops.com”
11. Armond said... on Oct 9, 2008 at 05:42AM
“This is a very noble effort and I'm glad that you have decided to lead this up. It's sad that we think that its not feasible for our youth to abstain from sex and that we just come to accept their sexual activity as a norm. Initiatives like this are proof that there are people who believe that if given the choice, if shown the lifestyle and if supported in a positive light, our youth (both men and women) are capable of making the best decision for self preservation through abstinence. Armond Mosley www.kingdomworkshops.com”
12. KENEASHA said... on Oct 9, 2008 at 08:40PM
“I THINK IT'S AN AWESOME IDEA && I HAVE JOINED BCUZ TOO MANY YOUNG TEEN GIRLS ARE GETTING PREGNANT. I WANT TO BECOME AN POSTIVE EXAMPLE, JUST AS KENDRA G. AND THAT BEING ABSTINENCE SHOULD LAST MORE THAN A SCHOOL YEAR IT SHOULD BE UNTIL YOUR MARRIED.”
13. Mom Carol said... on Oct 10, 2008 at 11:03AM
“This is wonderful...I hope all your "sister girfriend" are taking this pledge also...”
14. Charlie Dates said... on Oct 10, 2008 at 03:49PM
“Virtue is the victory of the noble. Way to go Kendra! ...Inspiring young girls toward nobility is a call that our country and culture so desperately needs to make. May your efforts produce more courage and conviction in your listeners.”
15. bg said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 06:32AM
“Good Idea Kendra.....Hopefully alot of young women will follow in your footsteps..”
16. lynne said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 07:12AM
“Wow! Praise God! I'm completely blown away and will send this article everyone on my address list! Young people need to know that having sex is NEVER a one night affair. It actually stays with you for the rest of your life. God bless you for making the commitment to yourself, family and others who you may never meet, but will influence to make better choices,Kendra”
17. shebakescheesecakes.com said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 07:32AM
“Good Idea Kendra.....Hopefully alot of young women will follow in your footsteps..”
18. Ebony sun god said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 08:35AM
“Abstinence is the cool way. Sex is too often used for recreation purposes which often results in unwanted procreation. also see www.pyramidoftruth.com”
19. Cocoa said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 09:44AM
“God Bless You!!! for your initiative. You are to be commended. Our youth need to know they have a choice and there are consequences to choices. They also need to know they should take control of their own bodies by making independent decisions rather what the crowd or majority does. Sex is soo exploited today. Much Love and Success Kendra!!”
20. Dat Nigga said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 09:44AM
“WHYYYYYYYYYYYY????????/”
21. G Dubz said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 10:20AM
“damn kendra, I wouldve blew ya back out for you !”
22. bg said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 10:55AM
“with guys ... it is an extremely sensitive subject...because you'll say well no i havent and they'll say, what? man your crazy, these girls r giving it up left n right... but i never felt like i had 2 because of peer pressure, but i'm sure that some guys have. i didnt have sex until right b4 my ist year of college only b cause i wanted 2 have some experience... it was with a girlfriend but the point is...dont let any1 dictate when u r ready...but u,,, u have the power. 1 love”
23. KATRINA said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 11:10AM
“i took this challenge”
24. tiara brown said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 12:10PM
“i took this challenge”
25. krystal said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 02:11PM
“nice. you are doing a good thing for these teen girls”
26. Jump said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 03:00PM
“WOW! I thought the whole initiative thing was cool until I read the end of the whole thing. I understand you have to take the good with the bad, but damn why you have to force feed the fellas like that at the end. You know that's going to create a conflict between couples who join you program or "challenge." So, all of a sudden you believe that these dudes are just suppose to be like, "Well, I support you baby," but you don't want to include to include some these young women significant others that's a formula for disaster. So, really believe that this should be a sorority for women like men don't have the same feelings. Ms. Kendra G you are going to be in for a rude awakening if you believe you can exclude men from this project of yours like the old saying goes TEMPTATION IS A BITCH! ”
27. lilliyah said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 04:07PM
“i love it! i love you sister, you are the #1 role model for the youth!”
28. L said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 04:36PM
“This is so great! Kendra, I so respect you for being brave enough to take an action like this. There need to be more on-air personalities who take the initiative like this. Today's music is filled with an extreme amount of sexuality, and even though some kids aren't letting the music influence them, there are a lot that are. Anyway, I just want to say thank you for taking this stance. Michael Baisden did a show like this, and during the show, he asked a 16 year old, who'd been having sex since she was 12, to stop having sex for the school year, and she acted like it was the hardest thing to do. And we all know it's because once your body gets used to doing something, it wants to continue to do it. These kids are doing things that they're not physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually able to handle. That's because sex wasn't mean for children. God made it for marriage. Again, thank you, before I read this, I was slightly familiar with you, but now I will take the time to check you and your show out. LaWanda, From Tampa”
29. Vanessa said... on Oct 11, 2008 at 05:32PM
“Kendra G, I believe what your doing is wonderful. What an amazing example to set for the youth. Do not get discouraged, by the haters. God is going to use you mightily, and you will change lives. I will lift you up in prayer. God bless. ”
30. cristylin said... on Oct 12, 2008 at 02:11AM
“AWESOME...God is really proud of you! Im 29 and im going to take the oath 2! ”
31. ladyj said... on Oct 12, 2008 at 05:18AM
“I'm very glad this young lady is taking a stand ,about having sex. There are very important other things that she could be doing. Thank god there is someone with some brains out there.”
32. Tina said... on Oct 12, 2008 at 06:38AM
“GREAT INITIATIVE, WISHING YOU MUCH SUCCESS!”
33. KATRINA said... on Oct 12, 2008 at 07:37AM
“GREZT IDEA! I HOPE THIS ENCOURAGES A LOT OF GIRLS TO PARTICIPATE AND REAIZE THAT THEY ARE IN CONTROL OF THEIR BODIES!”
34. KATRINA said... on Oct 12, 2008 at 07:38AM
“GREAT INITIATIVE, WISHING YOU MUCH SUCCESS!”
35. Loren said... on Oct 13, 2008 at 09:51AM
“Kendra I respect the initiative you are taking and if you believe that abstinence is the only way to prevent teenage pregnancy and STDs then I'm glad that you are practicing what you are preaching. I would just like to point out that abstinence-only initiatives were given more funding since Bush took office and since he's been in office this country has also seen a sharp rise in teenage pregnancy. It's also unfair to place the burden solely on young women for preserving or reclaiming their virginity when so many young women are first pressured into having sex by young (and not so young) men. This sort of gives young men the freedom to pass over the young women in the challenge and have sex with another young woman instead of being included in this project. It would have been great if you would have partnered with another male DJ and turned this into an oppurtunity where the young women and men could have gotten to know eashother over the course of a year on a variety of levels without including sex. It's better than doing nothing but, I hope you'd consider this.”
36. erica said... on Oct 13, 2008 at 10:07AM
“Kendra, this is a WONDERFUL thing you are doing for young girls. Keep doing your thing and watch how the Lord not only blesses you, but those who that keep their pledges. I commend your courage and boldness!!!! Who cares what people say?!People talked about Jesus, so they will talk about you.”
37. Ms. Kay said... on Oct 13, 2008 at 10:53AM
“I think that this is a beautiful step to encourge our young girls to stay in control of their bodies and themselves, I am a mother of a 16 year old girl honestly I need help in this area of her life we talk about sex but not in depth she understands that there is STDs and the consequences in contracting a disease I believe that she is having sex not all the time but random I have found condoms in her dresser which we have talk about the condoms it is her belief to wear one before you have sex I think using condoms creates an safe act but the message that I want her to understand is to not have any sex my question to you Kendra is do you know of any programs in the Washington, DC area that mirrors what you are accomplishing or could you submitt your ideas to the radio stations such as WPGC 95.5 and WKYS 93.9 I believe it is very important especially in our african black community our Aids case or over 73% here and we need to do something about it as a mother it is extremely hard to communicate to my daughter she is very secretive and sneaky if you know of any sources or websites I welcome you to direct me to the places I need to go for her- Thanks. Once again I thank you for taking the time and interest in helping our youth of today.”
38. Craig said... on Oct 13, 2008 at 06:33PM
“Thank God! As an adult African-American male I have often wondered when some of the DJs of hip hop radio stations here and all across the country would get a clue and promote something positive to the young audiences that look up to them. Education, self respect and respect for others are positive principles that really need to be cultivated and reinforced in our young people. Thank you Kendra G. for reaching out to them.”
39. asia said... on Oct 14, 2008 at 08:07PM
“That is excellent Im a REAL VIRGIN,"not born again" or " used to freak off and now Im trying to wait til Im married"Im the real thing.If you see me by first impression you would think I have alot of partners i get that alot because Im a very beautiful girl with curves but I dont even feel the need to explain myself anymore I just have been raised better than that and I see the bigger picture its a "trifflin" epidemic either everybody has babies or they have SOMETHING and sorry to be so blunt but I refuse to fall into it.”
40. lena said... on Oct 16, 2008 at 01:12PM
“Asia, there's nothing wrong with being a "born-again virgin". Why should someone think that you've had partners because of what GOD gave you? ie, "beautiful with curves"”
41. Dee said... on Oct 16, 2008 at 01:14PM
“My daughter voluntarily signed up for this challenge. Thanks Kendra”
42. Tina said... on Oct 20, 2008 at 07:11PM
“y not wud rather have baby moma drama or just have a girl that u call lil' moma? and boo wearing a condom don't do it because if you have a real good nite and it breaks. mmmmm. boo you in trouble. so that is y”
43. brianna t jackson said... on Nov 14, 2008 at 08:06PM
“what i think what you is doing is good.now and days all boys think about is sex and they try to sat they dont.see my ex boyfriend broke up with me cuse i wont hsave sex with him and we went out for 4 months and yes i was sad.but that wasnt cool.im tryin to take the pladge but cant find were to sigin up at so can you email me at babybri_92@yahoo.com.so i think u and every young girl should”