(Note: Doesn't matter if they play more or less than "four standard chords." Getting facts wrong drives traffic too.)
Stop Monkee-ing Around: Sure, The White Album, Abbey Road and Pet Sounds were all stellar records ... but what have these primates done for us lately?
(No Longer) Super Cooper: Why I hope the snake Alice Cooper uses as a stage prop fucks him up Roy Horn-style.
(Use this as your closer: "Wish his school was out, forever. And he'd just go away.")
Motor City Bad Man: Why I'd rather the Nuge shoot me in the ear with one of his hunting arrows than make me listen to "Cat Scratch Fever."
What's the Dyl(an)?: Why I made the choice to no longer pretend to enjoy Bob Dylan's hideous voice.
Just Beat(les) It: Why I love, love, love to hate, hate, hate the Beatles, the world's most overrated band of Liverpudlians who can't spell.
Radiodead: Why the world's most popular band is also the world's worst.
Which SXSW Brand Are You?
Panic at Camp Bisco
Roots Picnic This Weekend
Philly DJ Day
Danny DeVito Rocks