Your Favorite Band Sucks

By Brian McManus
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 6 | Posted Feb. 4, 2009

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(Note: Doesn't matter if they play more or less than "four standard chords." Getting facts wrong drives traffic too.)

Monkees

Stop Monkee-ing Around: Sure, The White Album, Abbey Road and Pet Sounds were all stellar records ... but what have these primates done for us lately?

 

Alice Cooper

(No Longer) Super Cooper: Why I hope the snake Alice Cooper uses as a stage prop fucks him up Roy Horn-style.

(Use this as your closer: "Wish his school was out, forever. And he'd just go away.")

 

Ted Nugent

Motor City Bad Man: Why I'd rather the Nuge shoot me in the ear with one of his hunting arrows than make me listen to "Cat Scratch Fever."

 

Bob Dylan

What's the Dyl(an)?: Why I made the choice to no longer pretend to enjoy Bob Dylan's hideous voice.

 

Beatles

Just Beat(les) It: Why I love, love, love to hate, hate, hate the Beatles, the world's most overrated band of Liverpudlians who can't spell.

 

Radiohead

Radiodead: Why the world's most popular band is also the world's worst.

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COMMENTS

Comments 1 - 6 of 6
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1. Terry Moran said... on Feb 3, 2009 at 06:58PM

“The unheralded, and forever uncompromising artist here is Billy Joel. He knew when to walk away at the top of his game. He had the balls to just say "Fuck it. I don't want to play this stupid game anymore. Take this job and shove it." But, of course, no one will give him credit for that, just as no one will give him credit for anything.”

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2. JethroCorleone said... on Feb 6, 2009 at 07:46AM

“What the hell are you talking about? He didn't walk away! He is still doing shows. I used to think he was awesome just because he used to nail Christie Brinkley. Now, he is just sad. He is no longer artistically relevant, and he no longer nails Christie Brinkley. On second thought, he is more than just sad. Now, he is just depressing.”

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3. tommyg said... on Feb 9, 2009 at 03:37AM

“Could someone please tell me - is the FYE store on Broad st closing down? I heard that the band American Speedway (who is playing there Fri Feb 13th around 4:30) is going to have a free show with free t-shirts and merch to "celebrate" this event. Is this true? tommyg ”

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4. Terry Moran said... on Feb 9, 2009 at 07:41AM

“Jethro - I was talking about the continual stream of mediocre new recordings that so many 'classic' artists keep putting out basically to make money for the record companies. They are no more "artistically relevant" than Joel - who left that part of the music biz a long time ago. ”

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5. Jethro said... on Feb 10, 2009 at 06:20PM

“Terry--I was talking about nailing Christie Brinkley! That was his greatest accomplishment. Think about it. He was SO ugly that his kids with HER even turned out UG-LEE. ;)”

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6. Terry Moran said... on Feb 20, 2009 at 03:29PM

“Jethro - I hope you have the balls to say that about Billy Joel's kid to his face. And I'd love to be there when he decks you.”

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