False Idols

Antony and the Johnsons meet American Idol.

By Brian McManus
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 3 | Posted Jan. 28, 2009

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Randy: "Dawg, you've got an album out, dawg?"

Antony: "Two. And an EP."

Simon: "Who on earth ... ?"

Antony: "Bj�rk is a fan. I've performed with her. Lou Reed likes me."

Simon: "Neither can sing. So anyway, Antony. It's a no from me. Randy?"

Randy: "Naw, dawg. It was weird, dawg."

Simon: "New chick?"

New chick: "I've written and produced songs for Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, Santana and Pink, just to name a few."

Simon: "Good God. We know. Paula?"

Paula: "I'd like to hear more."

Simon: "Wha ... why?"

Paula: "I like him, Simon, and I am entitled to my opinion! It's a smoky, thick, sexy voice. It's like a creepy cabaret-chic. I think, as New York Magazine said, it evokes an "almost mythic personal loneliness," which is something I identify with. And I like that you look different, Anthony. I like that you're doing something out there. What else you have for us, Anthony? Something we might know?"

Antony: "I did a cover of Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love' on tour stops in Dalhalla, Sweden, Istanbul and Italy. I performed it at the Apollo too and it went over great. Fans loved it."

Randy: "Wowww. Dude. You're like the real deal, huh, dawg?"

Simon: "I will not have you butcher Beyonce in my presence. Sing your original again and I'll try not to cut you off."

Antony [singing]: "Still have too many dreams/ Never seen the light/ I need another world/ A place where I can go/ I'm gonna miss the sea/ Gonna miss the snow/ Gonna miss the bees/ Miss the things that grow/ I'm gonna miss the trees/ I'm gonna miss miss the sun/ I'll miss the animals/ I'm gonna miss you all."

Simon walks out. Paula cries. Randy says "dawg" twice. Fin.

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1. elyse said... on Jan 28, 2009 at 09:18AM

“spot on! haha. loved reading this.”

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2. hey said... on Jan 30, 2009 at 02:04AM

“ive been so freakin bored with the two latest shows. for one reason. they keep edit paula out and i dont enjoy the show when shes not active. i almost hope ratings will go down so that producers learn their lesson. i also feel the new judge needs to go and almost all fans agree with me. ”

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