What Your Favorite Albums Say About You

By Brian McManus
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 6 | Posted Dec. 8, 2010

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It's list time—when critics, bloggers and everyone in between determine the albums of the year (which you won't remember a year from now.). Over the coming weeks, you’ll see tons of Top lists for 2010, including some of our own. Here, we take a look at what your favorite albums say about you or the critic including them in his or her year-end list..

Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy: You are a douchebag, an asshole, a scumbag, a jerkoff or someone on staff at Pitchfork. Possibly all of the above.

Superchunk, Majesty Shredding: YOU ARE OLD. You read Dave Eggers while listening to WFMU, and have toddler-aged kids you treat like adults.

Bruce Springsteen, The Promise: You are old, bitter and nostalgic for a time when you weren’t, even if it means getting all wishy-washy for songs that weren’t good enough to make the cut when they were originally recorded. Or you’re a young person who has been browbeaten so often with The Importance of Springsteen that it seemed like a no-brainer.

Eminem, Recovery: You are Eminem.

Janelle Monae, ArchAndroid (Suites I and II): You are confusing Janelle’s amazing live performances with this ho-hum album, which doesn’t hold up in the absence of her shuffling around the stage like a female reincarnation of the late James Brown.

Crystal Castles, self-titled: You’re a sucker for duos from Canada.

Sleigh Bells, Treats: You’re a sucker for duos from New York City.

Hole, Nobody’s Daughter: Trick pick! This person doesn’t exist.

Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: You are a fan of eating hype by the bowlful without actually listening to the album, which is quite terrible.

Sufjan Stevens, The Age of Adz: The album is a difficult listen. Sufjan is challenging his listeners, and you like to be challenged. And you made it to eight on your list and needed some go-to filler.

The New Pornographers, Together: You are the whitest person on earth.

Surfer Blood, Astro Coast: Remember that one month everyone seemed to be talking about Surfer Blood? You do too, and you’re still living in it.

Justin Bieber, My World 2.0: You can’t be bothered to put down your copy of Twilight to read this.

DeepChord Presents Echospace, Liumin: “A record you’ve never even heard of made my Top 10 list, because I’m better than you."

Arcade Fire, The Suburbs: “I am a risk taker. I don’t follow trends. I buck the system. I upset the apple cart. I am a rugged individualist. I don’t go with the flow. I am my own person. I zig where most zag.” The opposite of all that.

KT Tunstall, Tiger Suit: You felt guilty about the lack of women on your list.

The National, High Violet: It’s their worst album, but still one of the best of the year. Or so says you, the person who doesn’t listen to enough new music.

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COMMENTS

Comments 1 - 6 of 6
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1. Rodney Anonymous said... on Dec 10, 2010 at 01:13PM

“You, Mr. McManus, are my new hero.”

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2. Koshkin said... on Dec 10, 2010 at 02:31PM

“Well done.”

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3. JSIII said... on Dec 10, 2010 at 06:34PM

“"You are the whitest person on earth." could apply to literally every record on this list.”

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4. Anonymous said... on Dec 11, 2010 at 10:08AM

“I just wasted 34 seconds of my life on this.”

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5. An Ignoramus said... on Dec 11, 2010 at 04:40PM

“If you picked a favorite album at all, you may be a rock critic--one of those rare people who still listen to "albums."”

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6. Anonymous said... on Dec 12, 2010 at 11:54AM

“So you hate everything, basically. What a clever premise for an article.”

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