If you’ve any doubt that musical success is predicated more on who you know than demonstrable talent, you’ve not listened to Kid Rock protégé Uncle Kracker. You’ll hear better voices at a truckstop karaoke bar, which is probably where he got the idea to cover Dobie Gray’s classic “Drift Away.” Living in Detroit doesn’t qualify you for Motown, and his attempts at R&B are so wretched that William Hung’s embarrassed for him. No Stranger to Shame for good reason. Kenny Chesney pimped his sorry ass on “When the Sun Goes Down,” throwing him a life preserver even as his career took on water like Bounty paper towels. His recent Train-biting piano-rock come-on “Smile” strings together more clichés than your typical meathead athlete. Of course records spin, bees buzz, gold shines, dancing fools dance, and like a vacuum, Uncle Kracker naturally sucks.
Tonight, 8pm. $15-$17. With Rehab. Crocodile Rock Cafe. 520 W. Hamilton St., Allentown. 610.434.4600. crocodilerockcafe.com
This is music for the kind of sheeple that consider Sizzler haute cuisine.
Hostage Calm is cool with the chaos