Poor Parachute—they don’t just listen to lousy music, they make it every night. Fresh from college, they set out to create the most tepid, uninspiring dreck imaginable (and were quickly signed). Their 2009 debut Losing Sleep doesn’t sound like the product of human beings, but one of SkyNet’s early Pro Tools-abetted attempts to exterminate mankind by first softening our heads. This is soul-pop utterly lacking any, like Hamburger Helper minus the hamburger. There’s more signs of life in an autoclave. It sounds like Maroon 5 evacuated through Jon McLaughlin’s lower intestine. It’d be easier to just shit directly into your ear.
Mon., Jan. 11, 7:30pm. $16-$23. With SafetySuit, + Cheap Seats. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com
A$AP Ferg is the Mob’s man of honor