The other night I dreamt Joanna Newsom and I were iPhone Scrabble buddies. For some reason, she had unlimited tiles during every turn while I had the standard seven, so she was putting down words like “hydrocephalitic” and “sesquipedalian.” She was kicking my butt. In the chat box she typed, graciously, “You’re only a triple-word score away from getting back in it!” I typed back, “I really like your new triple album—it’s almost as good as 69 Love Songs, and way better than Sandinista!” “Thanks,” she replied. It was my turn. I thought of putting down “faeries,” but instead I opted for “freesia.” “So how come you played piano instead of harp and sang out of the side of your mouth like Popeye when you were on the Jimmy Fallon show?” I typed. She took a while to respond, and then, “Because I’m strange and smart and adorable, magical and playful and brave, and I do whatever I want.” The score was 2,394 to 78. And then I woke up.
Fri., March 19, 8pm and Sat., March 20, 3pm. Sold out. With the Moore Brothers. First Unitarian Sanctuary, 2125 Chestnut St. 866.468.7619. r5productions.com
A$AP Ferg is the Mob’s man of honor