Philadelphia Weekly

MUSIC

Stereotypewriter

Your R. Kelly's-been-acquitted mixtape.

By Brian McManus

Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Jun. 18, 2008

Listen to "Heart of a Woman"

"Heart of a Woman" + new alias

Over the years Kelly has come up with many aliases for himself--Kells, "the R." But it wasn't until shortly after the allegations of child pornography that he upped the ante to a disturbing level. The title of the first album he released after the charges were made was Chocolate Factory, a creepy Willy Wonka-style "This is where children's dreams come true" title on its own, made doubly so when combined with Kelly's new chosen alias on the album: the "Pied Piper of R&B." "Heart of a Woman" is Kelly's heartfelt apology to the female half of the species.

Listen to "Lika Real Freak"

"Lika a Real Freak"

Kelly's blueprint for how a real freak should act in order to be considered a real freak.

"What Would You Do?" [video]

Kelly, a real freak, wrote "What Would You Do?" with the Isley Brothers for their 2003 album Body Kiss. The song poses the title's question to women in the audience at a show, wanting to know just what they'd be willing to do to get backstage.

"Down Low" [video]

R. Kelly's ode to keeping a secret.

"Half on a Baby" video, 3:00-3:12

Here's what you do: YouTube. Search. R. Kelly, "Half on a Baby." Fast forward to minute three, watch for 12 seconds. Kelly walks up the stairs as a gust of wind blows his clothes off, and only his boxer shorts remain. Keep your eyes trained below his waist. Dude may have been acquitted, but boy does he like his dick on film.

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