Philadelphia Weekly

Last week, after wasting three solid days of my life researching entry-level gas grills, I ventured out to Sears at the King of Prussia Mall. I had already Googled so many potential word combinations ("best gas grills" and "insert name of reputable culinary publication or grilling chef here") that I was nauseated from the number of open windows blotting out my computer screen.

How many online reviews did I read? Hundreds. How many books did I reference? Dozens. How many home grillers did I interview who answered, "Just get something at Home Depot--don't overthink it"? So many that a few friendships now dangle by a thread thanks to that totally thoughtless suggestion. Overthinking is, after all, what I do best.

Acquiring the chosen grill--a Weber E-Spirit 210-- required two visits to Sears. During the first, in the aisles amid outdoor cooking devices as large as compact cars, I found my otherwise good-natured boyfriend crouching by the propane tanks, hyperventilating and squeezing his head in pain. "They're so big ... they're huge. Ohmygod I'm freaking out. We have to go."

My second visit took an hour and a half, six sales reps and a pep rally of one (me) encouraging floor manager Coach Mindy to price-match my purchase (success!) while simultaneously engaging in biblical exegesis with Myron, who deserves the award for most patient salesperson of the year.

It was the first time I bought anything from Sears. They still use "press down on the credit card" machines to process your purchase. Sears is so woefully behind the times it almost passes for a mom-and-pop operation. It was refreshing, charming and Back to the Future-esque to remember what shopping in 1993 felt like.

Now that the overthinking was officially over, I called upon Keith Wallace at the Wine School to help me construct an all-grill menu from my reasonably well-stocked fridge.

"In Philly, if you have a backyard, you're batshit insane to cook inside your house in the summer," Wallace told me.

Wallace lures cooks out of his kitchen during his BBQ Cooking Demonstration With Wine Pairings class he's leading later this week.

For our menu, Wallace whipped together vegetable kabobs, marinated chicken thighs and caramelized bananas with cayenne and brown sugar. I threw in ginger soy tofu.

"Grilling infuses food with a common thread of flavor," Wallace says. "It makes life a lot easier because you don't have to worry about prepping styles and technique." He recommends using foods that are "right on the edge" of rotten--a hopelessly bruised pear, flaccid squash, blackening mushrooms.

Wallace also recommends enhancing flavor using three ingredients that work wonders on grilled foods.

Salt acts as an "accelerator pedal for flavor." Kosher salt adds texture, while brining meats in a salty overnight bath enables the flesh to absorb marinade flavors.

Sugar is also important. We "caramelized the crap" out of chunks of overripe bananas coated in a sweet, spicy glaze. You can also coax the sugars out of vegetables--especially red peppers, onions and mushrooms--by exposing them to direct heat until they form a brown crust.

The final ingredient that ensures grill success with minimal fuss are acids such as citrus or vinegar.

As for a prep tip, Wallace says that "putzing is for losers." Resist the urge to flip and poke and prod. Putzing is akin to overthinking, and neither have any business taking place over a grill.