Nibbles and bits: The country club is a good little bite to eat at the bar. (photograph by michael persico)
Seasonal cooking falls into two schools. On one end of the spectrum is the chef who plans a menu by light of the harvest moon. On the other, the chef who applies common sense instead of agricultural know-how, cooking heavy in the winter, light in the summer.
It seems Time, Jason and Delphine Evenchik's upcycle of Ludwig's Garten, shuns both orthodoxies. The cumbersome country club-inspired menu executed by Keith Murphy (from the couple's wine bar Vintage) feels as heavy as a cable-knit sweater at an Independence Day barbecue. Eighty-degree Center City nights don't exactly ignite cravings for braised veal cheeks and rack of wild boar, you know?
You'd think a place called Time would know what month it is, but forget about the calendar for a minute. I could maybe dig it if the wintry items were especially delicious. They're not.
A five-to-six-hour braise in Dogfish 90 Minute IPA renders the veal cheeks falling-apart tender, but the bland braising liquid is muddy as Thanksgiving gravy. The accompanying fricassee of fava beans and hen-of-the-woods mushrooms mixed with Bulleit bourbon-glazed, butter-confited figs compete with rather than accentuate the veal. It's also incredibly salty, a recurring tick at Time.
The tenderloin beef tartar, a 16-ounce bone-in cote-de-boeuf crowned with a plug of marrow, and the shrimp's bloody Mary cocktail sauce need more salt. Scattered with smoky grilled leeks--a welcome warm-weather note--the zealously crusted New York strip, a gorgeous grass-fed grain-finished steer, needs less. Not helping: a blue-stitched blanket of melted gorgonzola and an oversalted butternut squash "risotto"--actually a pan-seared rice cake with no discernable butternuttiness.
The undercooked mako shark smells and tastes like it was sauteed in ammonia, an old-fish red flag. My apologetic waiter swaps Jaws for Bambi, a texture-less grilled venison loin marinated in bourbon and overpowered by raspberry coulis and basil oil. Pickled mustard greens sting like cabbage soaked in rancid white wine, though the earthly, airy celery root puree beneath makes a small parting gift.
Even the bread stinks. It's so dry, stale and absorbent you'd swear you were at the dentist with a mouthful of cottonballs. Whipped Plugra butter, tangy eggplant tapenade and yummy tomato oil complement. At a second meal, the sourdough rolls and soft onion breadsticks are ovenfresh, but the butter suffers freezer burn.
Time does a few things well, like the calendar-correct lobster roll, all blushing tail and claw meat lightly tossed in lemony mayo, a favorite from Murphy's summers in Maine. Too bad some shell shows up uninvited.
Dragged through an aurora of smoked paprika-and-bourbon aioli, the slider-sized country club stacks pork belly, turkey bacon, prosciutto, radicchio, red-leaf lettuce and tomato on toasted brioche, a mischievous snack that makes a great coconspirator to Time's 90 whiskeys, scotches and bourbons.
Time keeps in tune with the dark liquor trend, going so far as to stock seven different brands of bitters for flavoring consummate Manhattans with subliminal suggestions of peach and mint. Imbibe in the walnut-stained Whisky Bar or at the dining room's square counter beneath a multiarmed chandelier that resembles a bronze octopus sporting Venetian glass earrings.
Though the buttercream dining room's supersized decor--Jurassic flora, oversized art, the adult booster seat of a raised banquette along the wall--makes you feel like Alice at the Mad Hatter's tea party, the Evenchiks did an amazing job considering the cesspool Ludwig's left for them. Floor-to-ceiling windows open the dining room's entire south wall, making it feel like you're sitting outside when Sansom Street's slim sidewalk precludes such accommodations.
Toothache-y pecan pie, bangin' brownie sundae and banana peanut butter trifle are all heavy but delicious--though I'm tempted to skip when the waiter follows up his dessert pitch with his best sinister villain laugh. This is the same dude who first approached the table with "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" in faux Scottish brogue and then channeled Yosemite Sam by asking if we were interested in a "tasty be-ve-wedge." You can't make this shit up.
Service during another meal was flawlessly professional, even when I had to send back some Salice Salentino that tasted like it had spent the day on the beach. Time's tidy wine list is Delphine's domaine, while Jason handles the beer, a mix of Belgian, German and American crafts.
Upstairs, kiss the green fairy in the Parisian-style absinthe lounge. Tables are equipped with neat glass fountains that dispense chilled water to temper the psychoactive spirit, though after tucking into Time's hot and heavy menu, you might find yourself sucking straight H2O in a desperate attempt to cool down.
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1. Industrydog said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:09AM
“While this may not be the best weather for Time's menu, this reviewer may want to rethink his efforts at cleverness in a heat wave as well. Elmer Fudd is the cartoon character you were trying to liken your server to, not Yosemite Sam (no one on the editorial side of production saw that?). Top 'o the morning is an Irish affectation, done with a wee lilt, not a Scot's brogue (ibid). I've only experienced the whiskey bar of the place, bar menu has been good. I only wish, they'd do more to educate their patrons on whiskey, maybe in the lists or menu or as an event besides mint juleps for happy hour. Sometimes when I'm in there I seem to be the only one aware of the bars strength (most people seem to still expect a Ludwig's beer bonanza).”
2. cheesesteak.the.impaler said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:42AM
“I too found this reviewers review headscratching. Re: "the brown liquor trend," I've heard via word of mouth that bourbons, ryes, scotch+irish whisk(e)ys, etc. have become trendy in the U.S. I myself have not seen this. In Philly, the Southwark's got a good line that matches up to a lot of what Time's got. Of course, it's also hard to assemble a good range in PA bec. of the PLCB, but I digress. I think you're being a bit too harsh on his purple metaphoria on the Harvest Moon. He just means some chefs pay very close attention to seasonal ingredients, and I guess he wants to paint a picture of such chefs being in tuned with the rhythms of the earth and its lunar planting cycle or whatever. That said, a guy who can't get his Warner Bros. characters straight while lacking an ear for affected dialect ought to take his writing chops back to the kiddie-pool of the non pro. blogosphere.”
3. Jason said... on Jun 21, 2008 at 01:47PM
“I love taco taco”
4. mae said... on Jun 23, 2008 at 08:00AM
“no matter what you think about the author, the following statement is true: "Even the bread stinks. It's so dry, stale and absorbent you'd swear you were at the dentist with a mouthful of cottonballs. Whipped Plugra butter, tangy eggplant tapenade and yummy tomato oil complement. At a second meal, the sourdough rolls and soft onion breadsticks are ovenfresh, but the butter suffers freezer burn." My bread was unremarkable and I, too, noticed the freezer-burned butter. Unacceptable, really.”
5. the stickler said... on Jun 23, 2008 at 09:19AM
“Absinthe in not psychoactive.”
6. HoneyBee said... on Jun 25, 2008 at 10:23AM
“If you do not like steak in the summer, do not eat it. It is that simple. Besides that, restaurants require a bit more time than two months to work out there kinks. Criticism is to be expected but maybe next time if you find the bread or butter to be unpleasant let your server know so these errors can be worked on.”
7. simomo99 said... on Jul 11, 2008 at 11:09PM
“their wine bar is a block away for god's sake they cannot make any faux-pas so better straighten up or it will hurt too much competition now”
8. rufftuffdh said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 12:04AM
“i'd like to know how and where this reviewer is credentialed. sounds like some rookie looking for an opp to slay new restaurants with genuine entrepreneurship. jason and delphine created a booming buisness with vintage and, after frequenting time, i have no doubt it will do nothing but the same. ”
9. Trisha said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 06:38AM
“I loved this review. It was funny. I'll still check out the cuisine. It might have been a bad night for the cooks. However; I think the waiter should be fired! When I'm dropping by hard earned bucks, I don't need an "Dive Pub-styled" waiter to be serving me. Quit the day job and become a comedian already.”
10. pdizzle said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:10AM
“Considering that the size of the space and the three distinct sections of the establishment you would think a review would dedicate more than just a single paragraph - seemingly tacked on as an afterthought - to the entire rest of the experience. How about it? Talk about the whiskey selection, the beer selection, discuss the wine list, talk about the space and the overall vibe. A restaurant review should do significantly more than pander to your own witty rhetoric and clever evisceration of just a single component of a multi-faceted operation. Bravo for a very poor review of a very nice place.”
11. rockclimber429 said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:25AM
“I have eaten at Time on several occasions as I live a few buildings away. I agree with the reviewer that the service is a little familiar, though I hold they are very professional. I disagree with most everything else in this review. I've tried most items on the menu list and found them all excellent. The variety of wine, beer, or liquor pairings with the food is unrivaled in Philadelphia. Further, the atmosphere created on weekend nights with live jazz trios, etc. gives you dinner-and-a show experience for just the price of your meal. Lastly, this is a space with many faces. Perhaps if the reviewer was a little more adventurous, he need not have spent so much time whining about his bread. Carbs are to be avoided anyway, young Skywalker.”
12. matt said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:39AM
“Is there an editor at PW? You'd think this guy could write a single paragraph without five hyphens. Texture-less shouldn't be hyphenated and neither should côte de bœuf. What dark liquor trend? Have I missed a bunch of bars and restaurants recently opening? When you say things like "yummy tomato oil" and "too bad some shells show up uninvited" you are reminiscent of Philistine Novak from the good ole South Philly Review. In a bad way. You start off talking about seasonal cooking. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "a chef that plans his menu by the light of the harvest moon," because that doesn't mean anything at all unless you're taking about a farmer. In that case it's irrelevant because I challenge you to find a farmer-chef here in the city. I digress. The point is that when and where does Time proclaim itself "seasonal?" How did you get this job?”
13. matt said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:47AM
“Here's a new fancy word for you: flor·id –adjective 1. reddish; ruddy; rosy: a florid complexion. 2. flowery; excessively ornate; showy: florid writing. 3. Obsolete. abounding in or consisting of flowers. It's the second definition that, lest your cranial capacity be considerably above my current estimate (limited as I am in my experience with you to these little missives), I believe is most applicable in this scenario.”
14. cheesesteak.the.impaler said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 09:09AM
“While this may not be the best weather for Time's menu, this reviewer may want to rethink his efforts at cleverness in a heat wave as well. Elmer Fudd is the cartoon character you were trying to liken your server to, not Yosemite Sam (no one on the editorial side of production saw that?). Top 'o the morning is an Irish affectation, done with a wee lilt, not a Scot's brogue (ibid). I've only experienced the whiskey bar of the place, bar menu has been good. I only wish, they'd do more to educate their patrons on whiskey, maybe in the lists or menu or as an event besides mint juleps for happy hour. Sometimes when I'm in there I seem to be the only one aware of the bars strength (most people seem to still expect a Ludwig's beer bonanza). ”
15. Jason said... on Jun 18, 2008 at 08:39PM
“Expensive and not welcome. Eveyone I know has bad things to say about Time. Go out of business soon, please”
16. matt said... on Jun 19, 2008 at 07:19AM
“Go back to McGlinchey's and try to act cool.”
17. SIr said... on Jun 21, 2008 at 02:47PM
“I love taco taco”
18. Industrydog said... on Oct 26, 2008 at 05:43PM
“Adam Erace has been writing for a number of years not only for Philadelphia publications, but also for the Courier Post. You are obviously a friend of those jokers Jason and Delphine who just ride the wave of cheesy wannabe trendy hipsters. They know nothing about the business and nothing about food. It's not too hard to fool Philadelphians as they still have very under developed palates. I mean look how popular the Starr places are and people think that slop is great. Also they think they are hipper than New Yorkers and it's so sad to watch them parade around their little blue collar wannabe-NYC little town of Philly thinking they are so hip. Philly is just NCY's septic tank from dining, to fashion, to music, to the arts and anyone that thinks the food at Vintage or Time is good proves my point. Keith Murphy is just a drunk and would not have an original idea even if his brain wasn't soaked with cheap bear and even then he wouldn't know how to execute it. The half retarded GM is just as bad and Delphine is just a little whiny frog that is more worried about getting her name published than anything else. Jason is just a mixed up alcoholic coke-head that doesn't mean any harm, but gets bullied by his wife. I mean these are people that claim to be Buddhists, but don't know the difference between Buddhist deities and Hindu deities and worst of all have no concept of Karma. They may be successful, but it will only be due to the fact that the sad little Philly trendy hipster scene is so clueless and lame. Ciao”
19. Industrydog said... on Oct 26, 2008 at 05:43PM
“Adam Erace has been writing for a number of years not only for Philadelphia publications, but also for the Courier Post. You are obviously a friend of those jokers Jason and Delphine who just ride the wave of cheesy wannabe trendy hipsters. They know nothing about the business and nothing about food. It's not too hard to fool Philadelphians as they still have very under developed palates. I mean look how popular the Starr places are and people think that slop is great. Also they think they are hipper than New Yorkers and it's so sad to watch them parade around their little blue collar wannabe-NYC little town of Philly thinking they are so hip. Philly is just NCY's septic tank from dining, to fashion, to music, to the arts and anyone that thinks the food at Vintage or Time is good proves my point. Keith Murphy is just a drunk and would not have an original idea even if his brain wasn't soaked with cheap bear and even then he wouldn't know how to execute it. The half retarded GM is just as bad and Delphine is just a little whiny frog that is more worried about getting her name published than anything else. Jason is just a mixed up alcoholic coke-head that doesn't mean any harm, but gets bullied by his wife. I mean these are people that claim to be Buddhists, but don't know the difference between Buddhist deities and Hindu deities and worst of all have no concept of Karma. They may be successful, but it will only be due to the fact that the sad little Philly trendy hipster scene is so clueless and lame. Ciao”
20. Marcos said... on Jul 1, 2009 at 12:32AM
“Wow! very delicious picture!! I wish I have them too..”