Philadelphia Weekly

A very wise man named Clifton Fadiman once waxed philosophically about cheese, saying it was milk's leap toward immortality. If that's true, then considering the fine plates of artisan cheese served in our city, Philly's something of a dairy disciple's Shangri-La. Don't worship at any old cheese church--expand your mind and let Field Guide be your milk maharishi.

If You're a Resident of Potemkin Village
New restaurants are like politicians: You never know what you're going to get despite the flashy promise of an expertly constructed veneer. Let's say Swallow (1030 N. American St. 215.238.1399) along Liberties Walk is more Franklin Pierce than Franklin Roosevelt. Its bright colors and kitschy insignia attempt to make up for its lackluster food--with the notable exception a well-executed cheese plate complete with the sweet and nutty Gouda-style cow's milk Prima Donna and real honeycomb. A D B

If You Fear and Loathe
Gonzo chef David Ansill's (627 S. Third St. 215.627.2485) eponymous restaurant serves an eccentric menu. The cheese sampler includes the unusual Roncal, a Spanish cheese made of sheep's milk from herds that graze high in the Pyrenees as well as the Pierre Robert (no, not the DJ), a super creamy, extra-aged French cow's milk cheese. Some might say that David's a high-powered food mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. That's a film-geek joke, folks. W A D B K

If You're a Natural Student
According to the website for the Tria Fermentation School (1601 Walnut St., suite 620. 215.972.7076), "you can satiate your intellectual curiosity while drinking and eating the syllabus." This summer is full of opportunities to test your craving for dairy data. On June 13 Tria's wine director and a Di Bruno Bros. fromager buddy up to pontificate on the pleasures of wine and cheese pairings from Portugal. Let's hope they throw in a little Bacalhau. E W A D K

If You're a Compound Word Nerd
The restrolounge, brassecafe, fusionateria Snackbar (253 S. 20th St. 215.545.5655) slings small plates for big bucks to Square dinner junkies. The cheese plate consists of sharp Canadian cheddar, pungent-but-creamy Bleu d'Auvergne and an Italian goat's milk caprino that rocks. Don't be a cheapskate--come watch the clotheshorses evermore. W A D K

If You're on the Prole Call
It is the best of times at the bistro a vins Zinc (246 S. 11th St. 215.351.9901), which offers a thoughtfully composed cheese plate of Stilton on toast, chevre with poached pears and a potato galette topped with brie. The cheeses are all complemented with truffle honey, celery root and fig spread. Sipping our $14 glass of wine, we felt so much like that thar bourgeoisie that we almost drug ourselves to the guillotine. The guilt! Vivre des temps troubles! W A D K