Philadelphia Weekly

Porno Books
It must be God's biggest practical joke on humanity that anything the least bit thrilling--drugs, drinking, sex with multiple partners (preferably all at the same time)--is usually followed by a joy-killing dollop of "What the fuck have I done?" Porno, of course, is the quintessential WTFHID? commodity because no matter how much fun it might be to watch two people with bald genitalia bone in positions you've never imagined on surfaces you'd never deem safe, after a while you're all but certain to run headlong into a stiff-tissue-filled slit trench of seedy guilt. But there's a way to loophole it--intellectualize your porn! If you're reading a book--Dave Thompson's Black and White and Blue: Adult Cinema from the Victorian Age to the VCR, for instance--you can sift through all the things that get your rocks off while getting a history lesson at the same time. It's like broccoli that tastes like chocolate. Phallic Frenzy, a book about esteemed perv director Ken Russell and his perv films by Joseph Lanza, is another. And yes, there are pictures in both. Pop Rocks' one criticism is that neither book has large-print or wipeable pages. Doubtless these minor oversights will be remedied in later editions. (Brian McManus)

Jihad: The Musical
The song titles speak for themselves: "I Wanna Be Like Osama" (check it out on YouTube), "I Only See Your Eyes" and "Building a Bomb Today (What Does the Manual Say?)." Jihad: The Musical rocked the Edinburgh Festival this year, proudly billing itself as "a madcap gallop through the wacky world of international terrorism." It tells the tale of Sayid, a poppy-farming Afghan peasant whose repectable capitalist dream of selling his product to the West goes awry when he gets tangled up in a jihadist plot to destroy an unidentified Western landmark. Superb performances come from Bilal, a closet-case terrorist who comes out in his martyrdom video, and Foxy Redstate, a U.S. television reporter who uncovers the plot but keeps quiet in hopes of scooping her way to superstardom. The show stirred up real anger in the U.K., especially after the failed bomb attack in Glasgow. Protesters sent an online petition of condemnation to British prime minister Gordon Brown. The producers responded with a fair point: Is there anything the terrorists would hate more than a kicking chorus line of camp musical theatrics mocking their entire worldview? The cast and creative team are mostly American, which suggests the extremely successful show will be crossing the Atlantic very soon. Pop Rocks suggests another petition: We demand you play the Kimmel Center. (Tom Cowell)

Small Town Gay Bar
In Small Town Gay Bar Canadian filmmaker Malcolm Ingram finds diversity deep within the Bible Belt. Just released on DVD, the documentary (executive produced by Kevin Smith) examines how two gay bars in the rural Mississippi towns of Shannon and Meridian offer respite from homophobia and persecution. During a Nashville-esque flurry of interviews the bar's owners and patrons discuss the experience of being out in hostile territory. Their opponents also have their say, often condemning themselves in the process. In the film's most jaw-dropping segment, Rev. Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps of the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church gleefully details his organization's achievements, including picketing the Alabama church where the funeral for 18-year-old gay-bashing victim Scotty Joe Weaver was held. Fortunately, Ingram also includes plenty of levity, from tales of drag queens hurdling barbed wire fences during police raids to the inspired use of songs by Electric Six and the Hidden Cameras. Ultimately, the film's greatest success lies in profiling those who have the courage to be themselves in an environment where cultural cowardice and conformity are the sterile norm. (Chris Cummins)

Twenty-Five-Cent 7-Inch Singles at ThinkMusic
Stevie Nicks awaits you. Sheena Easton and Eddie Money too. Skim the used vinyl at ThinkMusic and the faded faces of long-popped pop stars stare back at you like puppies. Guess what? You can take almost all of them home for a lousy quarter apiece. Despite most thrift stores charging about a buck per single, the year-and-a-half-old record/video shop off American Street in Liberties Walk is all but giving them away. At that price you can afford to buy them just for the sleeve art or their comic value. At last count there were three Paula Abduls, four Jody Watleys, and everyone from Pebbles and Tiffany to Heart and Corey Hart in the boxes. But the silly stuff is offset by stone-cold classics. Pop Rocks recently grabbed Chic's party-starter "Good Times" and Thomas Dolby's future-tastic "She Blinded Me With Science," as well as such lost treasures as Scritti Politti's "Perfect Way," some neon-lit '80s Aretha and Starship's soft-rock weeper "Sara." There's Motown too, and lovable local faces like Patti LaBelle and Hall & Oates. Midpriced offerings fill out the rest of Think, but who can resist the impulse-buy energy and penny-candy anachronism of one-for-a-quarter 45s? The section doesn't get replenished often, though, so you'd better hurry before it disappears altogether. (Doug Wallen) >> ThinkMusic, 1040 N. American St., unit 1001. 215.625.0445. www.thinkmusicphilly.com

Hilary Duff's With Love ... Perfume
A $35 bottle of Hilary Duff's With Love ... perfume will not improve Carrie B. Rittenbitch's chances of landing a hot-but-sensitive man who'll eventually go halfsies on a shore house, but that didn't stop the posh cackler in front of me from dousing herself in the poison a few days ago as I waited in line. Pop Rocks gagged. The perfume, made exclusively by Elizabeth Arden, is the smell of a Disney-manufactured pop star fading away (baby powder, candy and hints of eau de pin-striped fashion short). It hits first with a saccharine sucker-punch that quickly becomes sickeningly "warm" and "clean" (perfume code for "like your grandma" and "reminiscent of a diaper bag"). Lindsay Lohan was also slated to come out with a fragrance until she skidded off to rehab. Pop Rocks hopes it works out, and looks forward to undertones of illicit drugs, miniskirts and good times for the hip set. You can find Duff's With Love ... between the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen perfume Two for Girls and Danielle Steel's Danielle at a cut-rate chain drugstore staffed by bored and horribly underpaid malcontents near you. (Alli Katz)