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Nine Things I Hate About Jimmy Fallon
It's the SNL star's time. Why? I don't get it!
1. His Hair
Everyone knows that messy hair on a man connotes "sexy," "natural" and sometimes even "genius"--he's so clever he couldn't be bothered to comb his hair! So sayeth Fallon's goofy, rumpled locks. But really. As if he really just rolled out of bed moments before "Weekend Update" or the Video Music Awards. It's national television, for Chrissakes! Are we supposed to think there are no stylists? Whoever's giving Tina Fey that helmet head needs to take a brush to young Jimmy. Fallon's got one of the most annoying hairdos on television right now--though, to be fair, he's got nothing on Justin from American Idol.
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2. His Name
Grown men ought not to use diminutives. (Sorry, Sweeney.)
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3. His Spin Cover
My irritation with Jimmy Fallon started with Spin's March issue. Seeing him lounging so insouciantly, grinning cockily like that cat that ate the cream or whatever, made my innards churn. It was the beginning of Fallon buzz, and he was probably getting laid like crazy just for being cute and about to be A Big Celebrity. How annoying. Which brings me to:
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4. His Overexposed-ness
The evil, big media conglomerates are clearly pleased with their pre-packaged ball of adorability, hence they're milking their little brown-eyed cow for all he's worth. If you've been to NYC lately, you've noticed that Times Square has become a virtual shrine to Fallon. You can't open a newspaper or a magazine without seeing that perky smile, and MTV plays that hideola video so much (see No. 7) that when I turned on the TV in the hope I could watch it for this story, it came on almost immediately.
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5. He's Just So 2002
Jimmy Fallon's being pushed down our throats because, as those guys see it, he's such a non-offensive, down-home kind of guy. He'll work in Middle America, and his frequent references to college dorms, nostalgic impressions and the aforementioned mussed hair and puppy dog eyes make him a perfect figure for the wimpy post-Sept. 11 "sincerity." He's a Sensitive Guy whom chicks and teenagers, gay men and even straight guys love, insomuch as they are inclined to love anyone. But these are values of the moment, and Fallon's star will surely fade as soon as people get an earful of ...
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6. His Stupid Album
The Bathroom Wall, released last week, provides near-irrefutable proof of Fallon's over-ness. Three dumb songs peter out into Fallon's oft-heard impressions of Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and that Alanis Morrissette-troll-doll song, all of which serve to prove Fallon's only actually funny when someone else is writing for him.
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7. That Stupid Video
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1. Adrian said... on Jun 4, 2009 at 02:17PM
“Gosh im so glad im not the only one”
2. Anonymous said... on Jun 5, 2009 at 12:37PM
“get the fuck out here.
jimmy fallon is everything and more than you'll ever be so stfu. kay? thanks!”
3. Anonymous said... on Jun 18, 2009 at 02:38PM
“#2, are you for real? You need to get yourself a life! Jimmy Fallon is the most unfunny, overrated, absolutely annoying person on earth... right up there with Will Ferrell. We get it, you're in love with him because you think that every single time he looks into the camera and laughs (as he does on every single SNL skit he's ever been in), you think he's looking at you, right? LOSER! GET OVER YOURSELF!”
4. James said... on Jul 26, 2009 at 06:36PM
“All of these things are true.
And made me laugh very much so.
Dont you guys see?
Its his awkwardness to other celebs he has never met, you know, the ones that are not known for comedy or have never been on SNL, and his stupidness that make him funny. Craig Ferguson, and Jimmy's show are my fav. late shows.”
5. IhateJimmy said... on Sep 4, 2009 at 05:57PM
“I HATE him too!!!! He needs to be punched off that stage and buried in the Hollywood junkyard once and for all. Come on! Someone please cancel that little nervous Nelly and her show asap.”
6. A guy named Jim not and not that A**hole said... on Sep 15, 2009 at 10:10PM
“gives every guy name jim a bad name..I do not understand who finds him funny at all. All e does is laugh at every skit he does at himself its ainful to watch. It's like that uncomfortable feeling you get in a romantic movie before the big kiss. I jus am happy i can search the internet and find some sane people out their who appreciate comedy and know when its not their.
Thank god for Fallon leaving SNL oh but wait NBC feels the need to shove his face down our throats on what use to be an enjoyable hour of entertainmen”
7. :P said... on Oct 3, 2009 at 01:16AM
“ahaahaahaha i've never geard of so much hate in my life...i guess this is what we get when "free speech" is a right...”
8. Pastch said... on Nov 14, 2009 at 12:14AM
“I agree, this guy is really bad. Whats worse is people who think he is funny.”
9. F fallon in his Fing ear said... on Jan 21, 2010 at 06:48PM
“Fallon has ruined what used to be the domain of such greats as Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Phil Hartman, Will Ferrell, etc. and now after destroying Saturday Night Live, he ruins Late NIght! Unbelievable NBC, you really screwed the pooch on that one. That fake cutesy 2 shoes B.S. that Fallon is selling to 10 year old girls will not last, because it is not funny. Put Fallon back where he belongs a male escort service, if I ever see him in public I am going to kick him square in the nuts!”
10. Fallonsucksscrotum said... on Jan 21, 2010 at 06:57PM
“I heard Jimmy Fallon has a crush on a giant magical nut sack, gross! This guy is f*ckin disguisting! Take this freak off the air!”
11. Anonymous said... on Jan 21, 2010 at 11:24PM
“jimmy Fallon is a road warrior queef!”
12. Anonymous said... on Mar 5, 2010 at 09:49PM
“I want to punch him in the face. That it all.”
13. Anonymous said... on Apr 4, 2010 at 07:04PM
“Wooow, you people take life way to seriously.
fuck smoke some weed and laugh a little.
have you maybe never thought that he just takes life as a good time and thats why he laughs, and is always happy. I mean hes so successful why should he not smile?
if you dont think hes funny, dont watch him, go watch jay fucking leno.
I personally thought he was hilarious on SNL, all of you guys can make fun of him for breaking character or being unoriginal but Id like to see all of you guys do what he does.”
14. Craig&Jimmy♥ said... on Jul 11, 2010 at 03:42PM
“Oh, come on! =/ Give the man a chance!
I agree he's not as funny as Craig Ferguson, but he isn't THAT bad! In my opinion, he's way better than Letterman & The Chin. -_-
And what's all this about him laughing at his own jokes? O_o I watch his show quite often, and I rarely see him smile, let alone laugh. The only time he smiles, it seems, is when the celebrity guest comes on.
If only he was a little more relaxed. Craig has this wonderful, carefree sense of humor, and I wish Jimmy had that. Maybe if he did, people like you wouldn't judge him so quickly.
I feel for Jimmy, I really do.
I, personally, think he's alright in the comedy department and super adorable in appearance! He definitely doesn't deserve all of this hate, and it makes me psychically ill to see such things posted about him. >_< Grow up a little, and just give him another chance. I bet not a single one of you could do what he does and be so successful at it..”
15. jonas said... on Jul 28, 2010 at 11:45PM
“he's a fuckin fag and it would actually make me smile and probably laugh if he was dead and burning in hell!”
16. Anonymous said... on Nov 12, 2010 at 04:55PM
“Mostly I just can't stand his face...he looks like a fly-swatter...”
17. California Steves said... on Feb 5, 2011 at 04:07AM
“Jimmy Fallon is an the BIGGEST IDIOT. HE ACT s like A CHILD AND the only
thing HE DOES not Crackup about is his self because he is so LAME.”
18. Anonymous said... on May 7, 2011 at 03:03PM
“To # 13: Wow, you're incredibly stupid. I am happy to see other people's animosity towards Fallon. I gave him a chance when he was on SNL, but I noticed he just pissed me off, the most when he giggled like an idiot in the majority of his skits. I think he's the reason I stopped watching SNL. Bottomline, I can't stand that little cunt stain.”
19. Jimmy Fallon said... on Nov 29, 2011 at 06:14PM
“Jessica (or can I call you Jess? In your opinion are grown women permitted to use diminutives?),
It's not an issue to find that someone doesn't like my humor; it really disturbs me that such a poorly-written article is used to convey this information. I would like to cordially ask that you remove this article in the interest of keeping my name clear from unsavory publications. I hope it doesn't offend your dozen or so fans if this article is no longer present, but I am kindly asking so that I can precede my agent in any further legal matters. I'm sure the county-renowned periodical The Philadelphia Weekly will benefit from the removal of this rubbish.
Kisses,
Jimmy”
20. Jimmy Fallon said... on Nov 29, 2011 at 06:22PM
“P.S. I look forward to the day when Jessica Pressler is a household name. Feel free to contact me for any tips on humor.
Haha, just kidding. Go back to your TV dinner and M*A*S*H reruns, Jess.”
21. Fallon = Awesome said... on Dec 8, 2011 at 04:14PM
“I'm surprised at how dumb people have gotten. And by that, I mean haters of Jimmy Fallon. What idiot takes the energy to hate somebody's hair? Jimmy happens to be a guy--a straight guy. No straight man should ever go out of their way to make their hair look good. I applaud him for the look. There is no problem with his name. Refer to #19 and #20. They have the right idea. #15...I just hope you're sent to some sort of mental hospital. You don't even know the guy. The way Jimmy has portrayed himself, so far, only tells me that he is an open-minded individual who likes to have fun. Last I checked, that's exactly what the human race should be doing. Fans have a reason to post; haters are wasting their time. So, #15, I would change your tune quickly because, if your wish for a hellbound Jimmy Fallon comes true, you'll be stuck down there with him for all eternity. Oh, and about Jimmy's performance on SNL...it's a comedy. Do none of you haters know anything about comedy itself? (cont.↓)”
22. Fallon = Awesome said... on Dec 8, 2011 at 04:19PM
“You're supposed to laugh. And that's exactly what he did. Besides, most of you using words like "stupid" should really double check the stuff you type before posting. Spelling errors, incorrect grammar usage, and misplaced judgment do not qualify for a sentence. Jimmy's the greatest (or at least second best).”
23. Jimmy Fallon said... on Dec 16, 2011 at 09:42PM
“Thank you, Fallon = awesome. Send me your address at jimmy.fallon@gmail.com for a free Late Night t-shirt!”
24. hannah said... on Jan 9, 2012 at 08:58PM
“I love Jimmy Fallon! He inspires me everytime i watch his show and i watch every episode of his show. Ppl who hate on him r either jealous cuz they arent as funny, well dressed, and sweet as Jimmy or they just have no sense of humor. I laugh at Jimmys Fallons jokes every time! I especially loved the SNL on Christmas Eve of which Jimmy hosted! Loved the sweater Jimmy wore too ;D idc what non a yall say, Jimmy Fallon Rocks!”
25. hannah said... on Jan 9, 2012 at 08:58PM
“I love Jimmy Fallon! He inspires me everytime i watch his show and i watch every episode of his show. Ppl who hate on him r either jealous cuz they arent as funny, well dressed, and sweet as Jimmy or they just have no sense of humor. I laugh at Jimmys Fallons jokes every time! I especially loved the SNL on Christmas Eve of which Jimmy hosted! Loved the sweater Jimmy wore too ;D idc what non a yall say, Jimmy Fallon Rocks!”
26. Alex said... on Apr 1, 2012 at 01:31PM
“Jimmy is adorable and when he was on SNL weekend update was the focus of the whole show. He's my favorite comedian! But theres no reason to bring the word phag into this especially when you spell it wrong.”
27. Anonymous said... on Jul 28, 2012 at 10:53PM
“id love to be famous to go on snl and blow my lines and laugh at all the other comedians actually being funny but sadly we cant all be jimmy fallon p.s taxi with queen latifah was a huge hit lmao sike”
28. Anonymous said... on Aug 2, 2012 at 11:17AM
“Why is this no talent hack on TV? Oh, wait, I forgot; he's a libtard shill. Hate ta tell ya Jimmy, but they'll fertilize their "organic" gardens with your carcass when they finally get their way and no longer need you. I'd love to see the baby actually bullseye you with that fire extinguisher.....”
29. F;$&k U All said... on Aug 31, 2012 at 07:17PM
“I have never seen so many losers in my life! whining about a man who
Makes more money in one day then what you morons make in ten years!
Jimmy is funny and he really is a down to earth Guy. He's more human then
You f:;king apes.. SNL has gone to shit long before Jimmy came alone
I can't stand that damn show any more. Just face it, he's funny and people with real taste Like him, so go back to watching twilight you fags”
30. Anonymous said... on Sep 6, 2012 at 02:24AM
“I hated him from the get go. The laugh at his own jokes thing pissed me off. His whole demeanor is just pure bullshit.”
31. Turbofan said... on Oct 8, 2012 at 12:56AM
“Jimmy Fallon is boring and not funny and not talented.”
32. Anonymous said... on Oct 12, 2012 at 02:46AM
“O man I only have to add that anyone who thinks he is talented, or would actually go so far as to say he is their favorite comedian, is a nauseating waste of space. Clearly your sense of humor is either nonexistent or a JOKE, in the worst kind of way. Just like Jimmy Fallon is a horrible JOKE of an entertainer and comedian. Not a funny joke. Just an awful awful personality and CUTE or ADORABLE? I don't know what's wrong with you people. His awkward charm is so forced and full of weak annoying guy at party insecurity. BARF”
33. Anonymous said... on Dec 6, 2012 at 06:03PM
“I don't really hate him, but he's disrespectful. I was watching it one day and they cut to commercials too late and I heard him saying "Fuck you" to one of his guests. That pisses me off. He also repeats segments too much.”
34. Anonymous said... on Mar 21, 2013 at 01:00AM
“he seems friendly and down-to-earth but always too restlessly eager to engage in some corny kind of immaturity, which might cause him to go out of style in time.”