Getting awesome with Tommy Up
Red Bull and I have some history together. I'm not getting paid by them, and although I'm quite fond of the stuff when mixed with lots of vodka and ice, that's not why I love them. I love them because they always take me to free parties. It's either because a) I'm one of the "tastemakers" they always give free stuff to, or b) because my buddy works for them and likes me to be there to act like an ass. Free parties plus massive amounts of Red Bull and vodka plus me equals some funny shit. Here are some stories Red Bull's generosity has inspired.
Red Bull story No. 1: I'm in Miami for the Winter Music Conference, and Red Bull rents a mansion on the bay for everyone to party at. The house is stocked with unlimited free booze, food and entertainment, and open 24 hours a day. I shit you not.
We basically move into the house, bring all our drunken friends back at 5 a.m. and start sleeping there. The party comes to a screeching halt four days in, when my friends and I spend an entire morning yelling at University of Miami rowers on the bay to, "Catch that boat. You're losing!" The neighbors are Hasidic Jews, and they aren't really into that kind of thing.
Red Bull story No. 2: Red Bull holds a concert in N.Y.C. at Carnegie Hall, and puts about 1,000 of us up in hotels on Times Square. The morning before the concert, everyone gathers in Times Square where the tourists are walking around. Some nut walks up and hands me a Scientology pamphlet. Right then I see Cut Chemist from Jurassic 5. I walk over and hand him the pamphlet and ask him if he's happy with his life and if he's ever heard of Scientology. He thinks I'm serious and patronizes me and says, "Oh, thanks man. I'll check it out."
Later we're all outside Carnegie Hall waiting to get in, and I see him again. I sneak up behind him, tap his shoulder and ask him if he's thought about Scientology yet. He freaks out and starts yelling, "I fucking told you, man. I'm not interested in that shit! Go away." I ask him for the pamphlet back. I'm always a little disappointed when famous people don't have a great sense of humor.
Holla at party thrower and subversive marketing genius Tommy Up at firstname.lastname@example.org