Philadelphia Weekly

Unholy night: The Dumpsta Players take on China-made toys and holiday

Valley of the Dollies
Wed., Dec. 19, 11pm. $1.99. Bob & Barbara's, 1509 South St. 215.545.4511. www.dumpstaplayers.org

Continuing their storied tradition of rude and raucous rabble-rousing, the Dumpsta Players are back, getting all up in your grill with cautionary tales of Christmas toys gone bad. In Valley of the Dollies, the Players take on celebrity endorsements, cleverly weaving a seasonal theme into a naughty narrative that starts debauched and goes rapidly downhill thereafter. And yes, of course there are allusions to GHB-tainted toys from China and the drug-induced holiday-themed hallucinations they cause. The show also features visits from toys of Christmas past--including Strawberry Shitcake and the Lance Bass action figure. As in all Dumpsta productions, drag queens will run wild, chaos will ensue and inhibitions and social niceties will be left in the slush covered in reindeer hooves. (Joshua Valocchi)

Sean Altman (right)

Sean Altman's "colicky, uncircumcised brain child" Jewmongous is a solo song concert from an awesomely talented musical comedian currently being hyped as part of a "Jewish hipster comedy movement" (which includes Heeb magazine and every Jewish comedian under 50 you've ever heard of). Jewmongous consists mostly of biting satire (which Altman admits is "unhampered by truth") and mind-alteringly hilarious but horrifying numbers like "Christian Baby Blood" and "They Tried to Kill Us (We Survived, Let's Eat)." Altman's in Philly to promote his debut album Taller Than Jesus which is available nationally on Christmas Day--just in time to wreak havoc on the Christian worldview. (St. John Barned-Smith)

>>Funk's not dead
Turnaround vs. Immediate!
Fri., Dec. 21, 10pm. $8. Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. www.myspace.com/immediate

Decades before indie took out the sex and fun, rock mingled and partied with funk and soul, and was more intent on getting people laid than bumming them out. That music is the inspiration for the new Turnaround vs. Immediate! party that combines Gregg Foreman's Turnaround with its successor, the Brothers Gieda and Rusty Seger's Immediate! As Cat Power's DJ Foreman, aka Mr. Pharmacist, says, "We decided to come together and reintroduce the simple concept of a sweaty, good-time dance party--something for the people, by the people." With that revolutionary attitude, it's no surprise they turned to Ian Svenonious as a special guest DJ and potential semiregular. (Svenonious was founder of the soul-driven post-hardcore commie band Nation of Ulysses.) Expect a night of raw soul, Hammond organ grooves, maximum R&B and even some groovy stuff from across the ocean like Serge Gainsbourg. (Jack Schonewolf)

>>Divas city
Karaoke in the Kitchen
Thurs., Dec. 20, 6pm. $15. MANNA, 12 S. 23rd St. 215.496.2662. www.mannapa.org

Sure, you love hearing the Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" on the radio every year, but did you know singer Patty Donahue died in 1996? And that Kirsty MacColl, the chanteuse whose silky voice dueled beautifully with Shane MacGowan's booze-fueled growl on the Pogues' "Fairytale of New York," was killed by a speedboat seven years ago? These tidbits are depressing, but the songs themselves are still hella fun to sing, no? At MANNA's second annual Karaoke in the Kitchen event, you can belt out your yuletide favorites and help folks in need. MANNA provides meals, nutrition education and counseling to Philadelphians with HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening illnesses. After helping prepare and package Christmas Day feasts for the organization's nearly 2,000 clients, attendees can kick back and fa-la-la-la-la the night away while enjoying food provided by Di Bruno Bros. (Chris Cummins)