Wed., Oct. 24
Witch CRAFT Beer Crawl
Twelve watering holes along E. Passyunk Avenue will be taking part in this annual event, each one offering a $3 special on a different seasonal craft beer (in addition to their usual brews and grub) and handing out stamps for crawlers to collect. Those who collect five stamps will be entered into a drawing to win a $300 gift certificate from participating bars or an equally cool runner-up prize. A stamp card can be purchased for exactly $6.66 at the Bottle Shop, the proceeds of which go toward the neighborhood’s cleaning and greening efforts. -Nicole Finkbiner
5:30pm. $6. Various locations along E. Passyunk Ave. visiteastpassyunk.com
Thurs., Oct. 25
Thrill-o-ween Master Class
Admit it—ever since you saw Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video, you’ve been dying to learn how to move like that cool army of zombies. Well, now’s your chance. In fact, for this special extended impact jazz class, the instructor will teach you not one, but two different variations of the iconic dance routine. Dancers of all levels are welcome, and don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it looks. If those Filipino prisoners can do it, so can you. Although everyone should come dressed comfortably, those who come in costume will receive a Halloween treat. -N.F.
7pm. $5-$13. Jeanne Ruddy Dance, 1515 Brandywine St. 215.645.2717. phillydancefitness.com
Fri., Oct. 26
Queer Fear Cabaret
Part Kit Kat Klub, part Witches’ Sabbath, this decadent evening of dress-up, make-believe and genderfuck is designed to put people in the Halloween mood. Trans chanteuse Mx Justin Vivian Bond headlines the show, while local troupe the Bearded Ladies kick things off with their bent take on pop, politics and pleasure. Bond, who starred in the 2006 movie Shortbus and won a Lambda Literary Award in 2012 for the memoir Tango, is no stranger to the stage, so expect witty repartee and passionate singing. Come in costume or arrive early to purchase a last-minute getup courtesy of Philly AIDS Thrift. -Raymond Simon
7:30pm. $20-$25. William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. 215.732.2220. waygay.org
Sat., Oct. 27
Proudly presenting its 15th annual holiday horror film screening, Exhumed Films takes over the International House for a full 24-hour fright fest. The event will screen 14 feature-length films, both popular titles and rare treats, plus whatever other oddities are worth showing. While the specifics on what movies, shorts and trailers are being presented remain under wraps, audience members are promised a blend of scary slashers, zombie gore and sci-fi terror. Grindcore House, Black Orchid Foods, Blowfish Bakery and Little Baby’s Ice Cream will provide the fuel to get you through till the gory end. -Ashley Kole
11am. $35. International House, 3701 Chestnut St. ihousephilly.com
Johnny Utah’s Haunted Hoedown
Take a ride on Johnny’s infamous mechanical bull or grab your partner and do-se-do into the wee hours during this annual five-hour Halloween extravaganza. In addition to the usual blaring country-rock, there will be a costume contest and specialty cocktails. Guests have three different ticket options to choose from, including an “all-access” pass, which will let you roam over to McFadden’s next door. General admission includes a free drink and specials from 9-11pm. -N.F.
9pm. $5-$40. Johnny Utah’s, 461 N. Third St. 215.987.5760. johnnyutahsphilly.com
Last year, the PEX Halloween Ball hosted 3,000 bloodthirsty partiers onboard the 900-foot, 57,000-ton Battleship New Jersey. This year, they resurrect the madness with PEX staples Lee Mayjahs and DJ Everyday and a teeming horde of performers and general awe-inspirers. Costumes are expected, with sea-themes encouraged (pirate, shark victim, jellyfish), while you partake in activities on the dock and on a floating platform. If you’ve never had the PEX experience, your time is nigh. If you have, missing this will surely haunt you. -Brad Forbes
10pm-4am. $40-47. U.S.S. New Jersey, 62 Battleship Place, Camden, N.J. thephiladelphiaexperiment.org
Witches and Woofs
October is the only time of the year when it is actually acceptable to dress your dog in a ridiculous outfit, so take advantage this week. Hosted by the Washington Square West Civic Association, Witches and Woofs is a Halloween treat for you and your canine friend. Enter your pooch in the costume contest (judged by PW’s Arts & Culture Editor Sheena Lester), check out the pet resource tables or just enjoy the tunes, crafts and snacks. The event benefits the Morris Animal Refuge, a rehabilitation center that hasn’t turned down an abused or abandoned animal for 135 years.
11am. Kahn Park, 11th and Pine sts. morrisanimalrefuge.org
Sex Dwarf Halloween Party
This two-part New Wave-themed Halloween extravaganza kicks off on the Troc’s Balcony, where DJ Robert Drake will have folks working up a sweat with his unique mix of ‘80s rock. At midnight, all are welcome to a screening of the 1975 cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which will feature live musical accompaniment from the folks at Transylvanian Nipple Productions. Awards will be given out for best costume, so get creative. -N.F.
8pm. $10. The Troc, 1003 Arch St. 215.922.6888. thetroc.com
Sun., Oct. 28
Seventy Scenes of Halloweeen
Luna Theater Company adds to the chill in the air with its revival of Jeffrey M. Jones’ unique psychological horror-comedy Seventy Scenes of Halloween. Young married couple Jeff and Joan are waiting for trick-or-treaters on a typical Halloween night when things start to get spooky, and hungry ghosts and verse-speaking monsters come to visit. For Luna’s presentation, director Aaron Oster says he’s significantly rearranged the 30-year-old piece based on essential thematic elements and story lines. “I think if an audience comes in expecting an easy-to-follow, linear story, they’re likely to be confused and perhaps disappointed” says Oster. “The audience has to work to come to their own individual understanding of what the play is saying.” If you’re looking for a play that provides both goosebumps and an intellectual challenge, Seventy is a welcome alternative to the usual Halloween fare. -J. Cooper Robb
2pm. $15-$30. Skybox @ The Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St. 215.704.0033. lunatheater.org
Tues., Oct. 30
Ghost Hunting Tour
Why celebrate All Hallows Eve with a bunch of intoxicated strangers at a bar when you can spend it with some disturbed ghosts? Armed with easy-to-use EMF (electromagnetic field) meters like the ones used in Ghost Hunters, you’ll discover the paranormal activity of old cemeteries and one of two haunted colonial-era mansions in Society Hill: The Powel House and the Physick House. From mysteriously darkening lights to disembodied footsteps, all sorts of unexplainable experiences have been reported inside these houses during the past 70 years. Bring your camera in case you rouse up any spirits from the other side. -N.F.
8pm. $22. Signers Garden, Fifth and Chestnut sts. 215.413.1997. ghosttour.com
Wed., Oct. 31
Henri David Halloween Ball
Henri David’s annual Halloween Ball is time honored decadence at its finest. Beginning humbly as a small gathering in 1968, the Ball has since evolved into the premiere Halloween party in Philadelphia. Tickets are $25 if you should choose to participate in the glam, and $75 if you wish to observe the madness in plainclothes. If you go with the former, your bravery could be rewarded in one or more categories of the famous midnight costume contest. Either way, could you really pass up the opportunity to experience a level of overt sexuality most will only see in Soft Cell music videos? -Anthony Trivelli
When we select our Halloween costumes, we are consciously choosing how we wish to be seen. We want to be recognized, not as schoolchildren or underpaid interns or office workers living lives of quiet desperation, but as the scary, sexy, colorful people we know we are on the inside.
Calendar: Sept. 30-Oct. 7