Look at you, all lonely and shit. All Jewish and shit. All bah humbug and shit. All atheist and shit. You hate the holiday, or don’t celebrate it, or hate your family (good call—we’ve met them, they’re insufferable).
So this year you’re going to celebrate Christ’s birth—and, by extension, his undying love and sacrifice—by getting blotto.
Well, we want to help. (Also, we’re kind of scared of you, all “I’ll have another” and shit. All “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A Lager and a shot of Jim Beam” and shit. All shittin’ your pants and shit.)
Below are a few bars around town open on Christmas and Christmas Eve, and any events or specials they have going on. Remember, Baby Jesus smiles every time you order a pint.
Devil's Den (1148 S. 11th St. 215.339.0855)
Open on Christmas Eve as long as there are people to serve. On Christmas they open at 7 p.m., and will be tapping their Troegs Mad Elf.
Dirty Frank's (347 S. 13th St. 215.732.5010)
Open normal hours on Christmas Eve; ditto on Christmas Day, plus Christmas dinner!
Doobie's (2201 Lombard St. 215.546.0316)
Open at 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve and 8 p.m. on Christmas. No specials, but you can bring your dog, which is pretty sweet.
Dos Segundos (931 N. Second St. 215.629.0500)
Open regular hours on both days, with yet-to-be-determined specials! (Suggestion: Nickel shots of Rumplemintz.)
National Mechanics (22 S. Third St. 215.701.4883)
Open at 5 p.m. on Christmas Eve with DJ Dirty South Joe spinning at 10 p.m. Same deal on Christmas, but DJ Jon Gill holds down the ones and twos.
Royal Tavern (937 E. Passyunk Ave. 215.389.6694)
Open normal hours both days.
Raven Lounge (1718 Sansom St. 215.840.3577)
Open regular hours on both days, with DJ Jon Gill (dude gets around!) spinning at 10 p.m. on Christmas Eve, then DJ Shane Hayward on Christmas.
Sugar Mom's (225 Church St. 215.925.8219)
Calendar: July 29-August 5
Calendar: July 22-29