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Wednesday, April 21

Prom Trash Mean Girls
The first awesome detail about the Dumpsta Players’ 14th annual “stag, drag, come-as-you-were/are” Mean Girls-themed gala is the prize. According to director Ricky Paul, the winner will receive “a glorious prize of a six-pack of ’70s diet drink Tab, loaded with cancer-causing saccharine.” Second, Bette Midler and Donna Summer will battle in a Mean Girls showdown of diva proportions. Third, all trashy prom queen contestants are strongly encouraged to pay proper respect to the nastiest queens of all time. Think late-model Joan Crawford, crack-era Whitney and everyday Perez Hilton. Finally, in an unexpected twist of fun, if you consult  Google about the event, what pops up is a deliciously ironic Camille Paglia article where she’s disgusted that shallow middle-class white girls (“White Girl Robots”) believe “social forms are everything, and nature is nothing.” Is she kidding? Social form is everything to trashy mean girls, and nature is just something to be snipped to smithereens and bitched to death. See: LiLo. -Tara Murtha

$1.99. 10pm. Bob & Barbara’s, 1509 South St. 215.545.4511. myspace.com/bobandbarbaras

Bedtime Stories
Chatroulette is the most awkward thing happening on the Interwebs and local comedian Gregg Gethard knows it. As part of this very special third-anniversary installment of Bedtime Stories, a monthly comedy event featuring everything from funny PowerPoints to live sketches, Gethard will spoof the recent online obsession. How it’ll relate to this month’s theme—mental health—is something you’ll have to drop 10 bucks to see. Ease admission price pain with a bottle of whatever you fancy; Bedtime Stories is BYO. Monthly regulars include Secret Pants, Meg and Rob, the Feeko Brothers and fan fave Jon Goff (aka the voice of the Philly Roller Girls). A special feel-good bonus: All proceeds go directly to the JoAnn Weinberg Fund, an organization supporting a local woman (and mama of former PW sales staffer Jaime!) suffering from a rare and progressive blood disorder. -Erica Palan

9pm. $10. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St. 215.279.7587. myspace.com/conniesricrac

Adam Green
Twenty-eight-year-old indie-folk, Leonard Cohen-inspired singer-songwriter Adam Green is already a veteran musical presence due to his years co-fronting the dirty-sweet Moldy Peaches with Kimya Dawson. Green’s also a prolific solo artist: He just put out his sixth album, Minor Love, described—as per an amazing press release issued by his record label—as “a tender side of the often arrogant and emotionally unavailable bully/singer” that was made “in a total state of isolation … due to incurable social phobias which plagued him.” True or not, the album is simultaneously smart-assed and mature, and full of melodic surprises. Hopefully, tonight’s show will be the same. -Michael Alan Goldberg

9pm. $12. With the Dead Trees. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. 215.739.9684. johnnybrendas.com

Thursday, April 22

The Tallest Man on Earth
Swedish folksinger Kristian Matsson isn’t really the tallest guy in the world, but what he lacks in stature, he makes up in a cracked, gravelly Dylan-esque intensity. His first full-length, Shallow Grave, won him a following and a slot opening for Bon Iver. His second, The Wild Hunt, is making even larger waves. Early single “King of Spain” flings frantic strums and wide-open wails, as fierce and as one guy with a guitar can be, but there’s luminous stillness in the piano-led “Kids on the Run.” BBC Music called The Wild Hunt “a heady and enthralling work,” and if you like your Americana with a slight European accent, this one’s for you. -Jennifer Kelly

9pm. $15-$17. With Nurses. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com

The Rock Bottom Remainders
“In the fine rock 'n’ roll tradition, the Rock Bottom Remainders were conceived in a car,” says Kathi Kamen Goldmark, essayist, novelist and founder of the collective of authors who make some noise. Named after the books no one buys that wind up being sold off a cart covered in discount stickers, the RBR is a shameless vehicle for a rotating cast of literary giants to fulfill their rock-star fantasies. Dreams of rock stardom aren’t novel, and usually end up a short story, but there are some saving graces here. Thriller writer Ridley Pearson gives Dylan song “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere” a spot-on take that Grateful Dead fans will appreciate, and The Joy Luck Club author Amy Tan, usually quite sophisticated, vamps through “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” in a black leather dominatrix outfit. The current line-up also includes Stephen King, Dave Barry, James McBride, Scott Turow and Roy Blount Jr. with Simpsons creator Matt Groening on vox and more cowbell. -T.M.

8pm. $35. Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St. 215.627.1332. electricfactory.com

Side Arts Networking + Happy Hour
Everybody’s been saying your decoupage Family Circus elk antlers and bejeweled walrus tusks have the potential to stir up a glittery cyclone in the Philly art scene. You just need the space and critical attention to make it happen. MUSE gallery and Philly Side Arts, an online network for artists, aims to link wallflowers to wall space. Load up on business cards, tuck your sketchbook under your arm and prepare to bump elbows with gallery owners, art dealers and muckety-mucks of every creative stripe. Meet MUSE’s current muse, Pat Burns and check out her current exhibit “Nights in White Satin.” No awkward silences either. Local musician Dante Bucci will provide polyrhythmic accompaniment on his Hang drum. Technically, it’s from Switzerland, but it sounds like it fell from orbit. -Paul F. Montgomery

6-8pm. Free. MUSE Gallery, 52 N. Second St. 215.627.5310. phillysidearts.com

Friday, April 23

The Midnight Sounds
It’s too bad Quentin Tarantino already made a gritty roadhouse vampire movie, because Philly foursome the Midnight Sounds probably would’ve come up with the perfect soundtrack. Nocturnal and moody, TMS sink their teeth into reverb-and-tremeloed guitars and ’60s surf, rockabilly and garage-rock motifs for a fiendish voodoo vibe that gets us thinking of the Cramps, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, and Mark Lanegan all at once. Though TMS is new, its members are old pros, concurrently (or formerly) playing in such outfits as Gildon Works, stellastarr*, Native Black and Ink & Dagger. They should have no problem conjuring the dark atmosphere their tunes demand live. -M.A.G.

7pm. $8. With the Sounds of Kaleidoscope + We Thieves. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. 215.291.4919. kungfunecktie.com

Broken Skateboard Art Show
Skateboarders may believe the ride below their feet is the result of years of technical tweaking, designed to do one thing very well: grind edges at LOVE Park. But from the graveyard of gnarly dreams rises skateboard lamps, jewelry and sculpture. An exhibit of items created from junk decks and trucks supposes what could have been if seven-layer plywood and ball bearings had gotten domesticated. Former pro skater Victor Perez is a “light freak” who makes lamps out of broken boards culled from shops around town. Some items still show evidence of previous owners’ sidewalk scuffs and band stickers; some—like intricately designed earrings and bangles by Seven Ply—represent an abstracted microcosm of the airbrushed undersides of boards. All these things have tasted asphalt one way or another. It’s a crafty salute for those of you about to ride. -Peter Crimmins

7pm. Free. VGroove Studios, 306 E. Girard Ave. 267.296.5098. SK8Lamps.com

Saturday, April 24

Bill Mays
Bill Mays was once a Hollywood session hand, but he rose to become a fine jazz piano modernist, paying dues with Bud Shank and Shelly Manne and recently succeeding Bill Charlap in the eminent Phil Woods Quintet. His discs for Concord in the ’90s and Palmetto in the ’00s gave him higher visibility, but don’t let Mays’ second-tier fame deceive you. His commanding swing and fine-cut improvisation can inspire awe. Mays at the Movies, his latest, might suggest Hollywood nostalgia, but it’s a hard-boiled trio session, and a sign of what Mays will be up to this week with bassist Martin Wind and drummer Tim Horner. -David R. Adler

8pm and 10pm. $20. Chris’ Jazz Cafe, 1421 Sansom St. 215.568.3131. chrisjazzcafe.com

Flavors of the Avenue
The almost-annual foodie festival Flavors of the Avenue has already become an entrenched South Philly institution. Organized by the East Passyunk Avenue Business Improvement District, Flavors was canceled last year due to citywide budget cuts. But this Saturday, 20 restaurants will gather under an all-weather tent for a celebration of the food, drinks and snacks that make the Avenue such a multicultural crossroads. Along with standards like Chiarella’s and the Cantina, a good number of newcomers—including Paradiso, Izumi, Fond and Fuel—will share their greatest hits. -Dan Eldridge 
          
Noon-5pm. $20-$25. E. Passyunk Ave. between Dickinson and Morris sts. 215.336.1455. visiteastpassyunk.com