Philadelphia Weekly

�Shiver me Timbers

Talk Like a Pirate

Fri., Sept. 19-Sat., Sept. 20. $5. Independence Seaport Museum, Penn's Landing. 215.413.8655. www.phillyseaport.org

Fact: Somali pirates are currently holding 200 crewmen for ransom. Fact: There have been at least 11 attacks since July 20, and they're increasing as U.N. forces fail to secure frequent commercial shipping routes, particularly along the southern coast of Africa and the Indian Sea. Fact: Pirates, the terrorists of the sea, currently control a record number of hijacked ships. Fact: You shouldn't let facts spoil your fun. Seaport Museum is hosting two days of arrr-some Talk Like a Pirate Day events, including movie screenings, photo-ops--who doesn't love a life-size pirate cutout?--and pirate trivia. The winning landlubber will receive the "Rare & Coveted Pirate Rubber Ducky Award." Saturday features a special event for even the youngest shipmates. Little mateys can attend Pirate U where they'll learn how to fire a cannon and make a skull-and-crossbones flag. At the end of their training, they'll even get a Pirate U diploma. Blimey! (Alli Katz)

�Be Seated

International House Reopening

When we last checked in with University City's International House, it had just begun a half million dollars' worth of renovations on its performance theater. The happiest overhaul: those damned ass-breaking seats. Two months later I-House is ready to reopen its doors, allowing patrons to peep the refinished floor, repainted ceiling and, of course, the super-extra-mega-comfy new seats. Now named the Ibrahim Theater--after S.A. Ibrahim, the board member who donated the bulk of the renovation budget--the hall will get four nights of opening celebration, commencing on Thursday with a ribbon-cutting and drinks soiree. Friday inaugurates the film wing with a screening of John Cassavetes' Faces. Released the same year he co-starred in Rosemary's Baby, Cassavetes' third feature helped solidify his stance as a filmmaking maverick, with John Marley and Lynn Carlin indulging their improv as a feuding married couple. (Seymour Cassell and Cassavetes' wife Gena Rowlands also star.) Saturday kicks off the music celebration with Marc Ribot's "post-everything" band Ceramic Robot (see Live, p. 58). And just think: You'll never need to see a chiropractor again. (Matt Prigge)

�No Crying iN baseball

Vintage Blue Launch Party

Baseball games aren't exactly Fashion Week but sometimes a girl still needs to work it. And squeezing into a too-tiny kiddie tee or swimming in an oversized men's shirt just isn't going to cut it. Thankfully, local fashionistas Michelle D'Avella and Liza Goncalves are here to help. After two years of planning and designing their Vintage Blue line, the two are launching an e-commerce site to sell comfy tees emblazoned with logos from the original All-American Girls Professional Baseball League--made famous by Rosie O'Donnell and her Madgesty in A League of Their Own. To celebrate, they're hosting a launch party at McFadden's Ballpark. In addition to a coupon for discounted online purchases, partygoers will receive a Vintage Blue mashup CD and gift bags packed with goodies. Stick around for a fashion show of the entire collection. Make a purchase, and be the most fashionable girl at the game. (Anastasia Kotsosavas)

�Freaks and Geeks

Ignite Philly 2

The geeks are getting organized. There's the Philly Geek Dinner where IT braniacs chat over good food. And the Hacktory and Junto and ideablob and Make:Philly and a score or more virtual and fleshy places where our future rulers meet to conspire against the despised "norms." At the time of writing makephilly.org is hosting a video of a "modular robot [that] reassembles when kicked apart." Way to go, Philly geeks--build robots that we can't kick apart when they rebel. That's a really good idea. At this second Ignite event, chillingly logical mutants with stupendously large heads will stare at you with huge emotionless eyes (made to look even bigger by 6-inch-thick spectacle lenses) while they blow your tiny human mind with a series of strictly timed five-minute lectures. And if that wasn't amazing enough, they're only allowed 20 slides and those slides rotate automatically after 15 seconds. Whoa! While juggling burning kittens you ask? No, you sick bastard. Artists, scientists, dingbats, living gods, lunatics, entrepreneurs and individuals who are almost certainly robots built by aliens--there's something for everyone in this eclectic lineup of freakishly clever speed-speakers. (Steven Wells)