Philadelphia Weekly

Summer's heat reminds us of the musky animal flesh to which we're all the unfortunate heirs. No matter how well-read, well-traveled or well-loved, we're still revolting, slimy, smelly little apes. Oooga booga.

Hence, I invite you to take refuge in the comparatively calm, cool and clammy world of shade gardening.

No land? No problem. If you have a small deck or courtyard, you can still cultivate a serene urban oasis: Use small raised beds, artful clusters of colorful pots or old containers like bathtubs, buckets and barrels.

All will serve well provided you have an area that receives ample shade and can retain moisture. Can you find moss, ferns or lush-leafed weeds in your lot? If so, you might be in luck. Generally speaking, rooftops, treeless south-facing lots, and decks and dry areas exposed to wind and full afternoon sun aren't suitable for a shade garden.

Let's talk soil. Most shade plants prefer moist, slightly acidic soil. Leaf litter and living organic compost is an effective, lasting way to acidify your soil. (Industrial acidifiers leach from the soil over time.) Avoid wood mulch. Four out of five forests agree that dead leaves are best to retain soil moisture.

Finally, we select plants. The most effective way to establish a relatively self-sustaining shade garden is with native perennial plants. Many plants native to the Delaware Valley are lush and herbaceous woodland species and perfectly suited for shade gardens. My personal favorites tend to have spathes, which are similar to flowers, but a bit more exotic and pervy.

They're pitcher-shaped, almost orchidaceous in appearance, and usually have a leaflike lid that hovers over the plant's sex organs. One of my favorites is jack-in-the-pulpit, which sports a dashing white, green and plum-striped spathe under trefoils of broad leaves. Its more dramatic cousin green dragon is similar but has a long, whiplike spadix writhing from its emerald spathe like a serpent's tongue.

A wonderful aspect of shade gardens is they're very welcoming to soft carpets of deep green moss and low canopies of cinnamon, sensitive, New York and maidenhair ferns--all natives. In all likelihood, these will serve as the foundation for a new shade garden: Not only do they form a good background cover, but they're often already established in the spots suitable for shade gardens. They help retain the garden's moisture, stabilize the temperature and humidity, soothe the eye and lend an air of serenity. And who doesn't love walking on moss with bare feet? Beats grass any day. Come to think of it, just about anything beats gas-sucking grass.

White, toad or red trillium are the pride of many shade gardens, as the plants of this genus are as beautiful as they are tempermental. Growing trillium requires patience: The first year after planting a rhizome it might not even yield a leaf, and the second year you may get little more than a sprig. In fact, it can take five to 10 years to produce a flowering plant.

Too much trouble? Perhaps. They're not for everyone, but some of us enjoy the challenge of growing rare, bitchy little plants. Just like some people risk sunstroke to watch a millionaire in knickers hit a ball with a stick.

Summer has room for everyone, right? Trowel on!

Lord Breaulove Swells Whimsy (aka Victor Allen Crawford III) is an artist, designer and author of The Affected Provincial's Companion, Vol. I.