On the Idiot Box: "Devious Maids," "Anna Nicole" and "Rizzoli & Isles"

By Craig D. Lindsey
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Jun. 26, 2013

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"Devious Maids"

Devious Maids
Sundays, 10pm, Lifetime
Captive audience: Soap opera lovers; people who think rich white people are stuck-up assholes; guys who like ladies with a bit of spiciness to ‘em.
Moment of truth: Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry teams up with Eva Longoria, one of those former housewives, for this swanked-out adaptation of a Spanish telenovela. This show follows a crew of sisterly maids (including Ugly Betty’s Ana Ortiz, Scrubs’ Judy Reyes and Without a Trace’s Roselyn Sanchez) in the wake of a fellow maid’s murder. It’s too damn over-the-top for me, especially in its portrayal of their evil, white employers. Still, you’ve gotta give it up to Cherry and Longoria for giving Latin actresses some steady primetime work.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.

Anna Nicole
Saturday, 8pm, Lifetime
Captive audience: Lifetime TV-movie watchers; fans of catastrophes; guys who fondly remember fapping it to Anna Nicole Smith.
Moment of truth: Lifetime once again picks the carcass of a dead celeb for another one of its pitiful TV-movie biopics. Depressingly directed by the once-awesome Mary Harron, who helmed American Psycho, this movie dramatizes the life of the late, voluptuous Playboy centerfold and reality-show star (played by Agnes Bruckner), whose drug-fueled, consistently absurd life became endless fodder for the media. If anything, this trainwreck of a movie proves that not all stories about famous women should be retold.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.

Rizzoli & Isles
Tuesdays, 9pm, TNT
Captive audience: Police procedural watchers; ladies who like watching strong females on TV; guys who love cougars.
Moment of truth: Another week, another TNT show reviewed in the section with two names and an ampersand in the title. This time around, it’s the fourth season of this buddy-cop show, featuring Angie Harmon as a tough-talking Boston detective and Sasha Alexander as her neurotic, medical-examiner BFF. I don’t know if it’s Harmon and Alexander’s adorable rapport, the show’s relaxed, durable vibe or the fact that the 40-something Harmon is still one fine dime, but this police procedural is quite easy to get involved with.
Emmy or phlegmmy:

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