Currently streaming on Netflix.com
Captive audience: All the rabid fans and geeks who’ve been dying for the show to come back—either in TV or movie form—since Fox canceled it in 2006.
Moment of truth: The universally acclaimed yet prematurely canceled cult sitcom finally returned with a fourth (and, presumably, final) season of episodes this past Memorial Day weekend. All the original Bluth family members are back, as well as the show’s memorable guest stars (Ben Stiller’s Tony Wonder, Scott Baio’s Bob Loblaw, Carl Weathers’ Carl Weathers). It makes perfect sense that the show went straight to Netflix Instant, where you can watch it over and over again to get all the callback jokes, easter-egg gags and other bits that’ll pay off episodes later. My God, I’ve missed this show.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Emmy!
Mondays, 10pm, ABC
Captive audience: Women, especially ratchet-ass hoes who crave to be somebody’s side chick.
Moment of truth: Now that Scandal is gone for the summer, ABC has lined up another soapy show for people to watch, featuring women who get their creep on. This adaptation of a British TV show features a multicultural quartet of female friends (including former teen star turned MILF-in-training Alyssa Milano and Lost’s doomed goddess Yunjin Kim), each engaging in some form of adulterous, complicated fornication. While ABC is billing this as this summer’s guiltiest pleasure, what that really means is that it’s the most entertainingly dumb-ass show you won’t be able to stop watching.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phl-emmy.
Melissa & Joey
Wednesdays, 8pm, ABC Family
Captive audience: ABC Family watchers; people who used to pleasure themselves to Blossom or Sabrina the Teenage Witch when they were teens.
Moment of truth: Milano isn’t the only teen idol showing up on TV this week to remind people she grew up to be a hottie. The consistently telegenic duo of Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence both return for a third season of that Who’s the Boss rip-off they got over at ABC Family. As usual, Hart’s city councilwoman and Lawrence’s commodities trader-turned-nanny play the will-they-or-won’t-they game while they take care of Hart’s niece and nephew. Even though Lawrence displays enough smart-ass charm to keep him at least tolerable, the show as a whole is dismally mediocre.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.