House of Curves
Thursdays, 10pm, WEtv
Captive audience: Chubby chasers; plus-size fashionistas; guys who are looking to scout more ladies for BBW porn websites.
Moment of truth: Well, here’s a reality show I hated to admit I found a bit entertaining—and it’s not just because it stars the kind of gals I’m usually into. This show follows Kenyatta Jones, an Atlanta designer who specializes in plus-size fashions for ladies, and her equally big-boned crew of couture-minded sistas. As far as being a reality show goes, this thing couldn’t look more planned if the ladies were reading cue cards. And yet, you may get a shameless kick out of watching these big girls try to out-diva one another. It’s like 30 Rock’s reality-show parody Queen of Jordan has finally come to life.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phl-emmy.
Under the Dome
Mondays, 10pm, CBS
Captive audience: Stephen King readers; Lost fans; people who’ve always wanted to live in a bubble, like John Travolta did in that movie.
Moment of truth: Stephen King’s 2009 book gets the small-screen treatment in this weekly drama. For those who haven’t read the book, it’s about a town whose people become trapped when an invisible, dome-shaped force field is suddenly placed over the entire area. The pilot episode, directed by Niels Arden Oplov (the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and adapted by comic-book great/former Lost writer Brian K. Vaughan, is effectively piecemeal with its sketchy, suspicious details, making sure you’ll tune in to the next episode. Let’s just say Lost lovers might start calling this show Stuck.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Emmy.
Franklin & Bash
Wednesdays, 9pm, TNT
Captive audience: People who miss David E. Kelley’s quirky legal procedurals; women who’ve wanted to do Zack Morris since they were teenagers.
Moment of truth: The third season of this legal-eagle dramedy has pretty boys Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar once again front and center as the title characters, a couple of smooth-as-baby-shit lawyers who get away with a whole bunch of nonsense. This season, Heather Locklear joins the show as the blandly bitchy new boss who is intent on reining in these snarky-ass renegades. Basically, this show is Boston Legal with two James Spaders. It even has a crazy-ass, William Shatner character in the form of Malcolm McDowell’s nutty senior partner. Yeah, it’s cute, but it’s also smug and annoying as hell.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.