On the Idiot Box: "Game of Thrones" Returns, ABC's "Splash and "Orphan Black" on BBC America

By Craig D. Lindsey
Add Comment Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Mar. 27, 2013

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"Game of Thrones"

Game of Thrones
Sundays, 9pm, HBO
Captive audience: Geeks—and some other people, I’m sure. But mostly geeks.
Moment of truth: Well, it’s that time of year again, when people switch on HBO Sunday nights to watch swordfights, dragons and wall-to-wall naked boobage. The TV version of George R.R. Martin’s epic fantasy saga returns for an even-more-extravagant third season, bringing back its ever-evolving gallery of characters and enough byzantine plotlines to make fanboys moist throughout its 10-episode run. While all that is well and good, it’s truly fun seeing Peter Dinklage’s diminutive, black-sheep warrior back in action. He still remains TV’s most sharp-tongued badass.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Emmy.

 

Splash
Tuesdays, 8pm, ABC
Captive audience: Celebrity reality-show watchers; people who are easily entertained; Brent Musberger.
Moment of truth: After sitting through this highly-rated, much-talked-about reality-show competition, I’m still hard-pressed to find a reason for its existence. A collection of celebs, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Louie Anderson, the short sidekick from Chelsea Lately and one of Hugh Hefner’s old slampieces, compete to see who can be the best tolerable diver. Huh? The whole thing seems to only exist so guys can see the bikini bottoms worn by contestant Katherine Webb (aka the quarterback-dating beauty queen Musberger publicly ogled during a college football game) ride up the crack of her ass.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.

 

Orphan Black
Saturdays, 9pm, BBC America
Captive audience: Fans of sci-fi, action, mistaken-identity thrillers and shows that really don’t try that hard.
Moment of truth: You ever have that feeling before you watch a new show where you just immediately know it’s gonna blow? Well, it was coursing all through my bones before I watched this sci-fi/thriller whatzit. Sadly, I wasn’t far off the mark. It’s about a British con artist (Tatiana Maslany) who finds out there are others like her once she assumes the identity of a troubled cop—who eerily looks like her—after she commits suicide. Of course, this show is preposterous as all get out, but it could’ve been watchable if the show had more captivating characters, not to mention a better-written plot.
Emmy or phlegmmy: Phlegmmy.

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